My Brother's Keeper
by Carys Langley
Summary: AU, TezukaFuji, As brothers, their bond was unbreakable, and as lovers, their passion was unending. When an inevitable ghost of the past shows up to haunt Syusuke's perfect life, Tezuka realizes that he cannot protect his little brother from everything.
1. Chapter Zero: Growing Pains

**My Brother's Keeper**

AU, TezukaFuji. As brothers, their bond was unbreakable, and as lovers, their passion was unending. But when a ghost of the past shows up to haunt Syusuke's perfect life, Tezuka realizes that he cannot protect his little brother from everything.

**Disclaimer: **Hopefully the Birthday Santa will bring me Tenipuri for my birthday, but seriously, I doubt it.

**A/N: **A start of fall gift to myself for my own birthday (yes, call me a narcissist, I dare you!) No, but seriously. Lots of thanks to **Angela **for the prompt: What if Fuji and Tezuka were brothers? I kind of just had too much fun and ran with it. It's AU for a reason, people, although it's weirdly cannon in some parts. I have no idea where this is going, it probably won't go anywhere, but the concept is too fun!!

* * *

-

**Chapter Zero**

**Growing Pains**

-

* * *

"Ne, Kunimitsu, how would you feel if Mommy got you a little brother?"

Tezuka Kunimitsu was five years old. But at five, it was clear to everyone around him that he was an extremely precocious child. Even so, his mother probably found it hard to snap out of the way that most mothers talked to their five year olds.

He hadn't attended kindergarten. His grandfather had insisted that he stay home, for there was more to learn at home, than at school, and his grandfather's word was law in the house. So now, he spent mornings doing calligraphy, afternoons tending the garden, and evenings playing go. It was morning, and he laid down his brush and looked at his mother.

The first thing he did was inspect his mother's belly. He was not sure exactly why, but when babies were soon in coming, the mother's stomach swelled. His mother's stomach looked flat and normal. "...Are you pregnant?" He asked, after a moment's pause.

She looked surprised, "No." She was probably wondering how he knew the word. Tezuka knew it from a newspaper article. "But...see, I got a call from London the other day. There's this little boy that would like to become your little brother."

London...was far away. How could this boy in London possibly know who he was? Or perhaps he was thinking too much into it.

"See...he even sent you a picture."

Tezuka paused again, and looked at the snapshot that she handed him. It was of a single boy looking very lonesome in the middle of a big meadow. He wore overalls, but even though he was lonesome, he was smiling. And his eyes gleamed like the sky above him.

Turning the picture over, there was a name scrawled in the corner. It was in English, but because Tezuka was widely read, he knew the basics.

"Syu-su-ke." A Japanese name. Syusuke.

"...Is that his name?"

"Yes. I didn't know you read English." His mother forgot childspeak in her surprise. "His name is Syusuke. Fuji Syusuke."

He looked from the photo to his mother, "I don't think...I would mind having a little brother." Tezuka said solemnly and handed the picture back.

She looked...relieved. "I think so too." And then shook her head, "The picture is yours to keep. Some sunshine in your life will do you good."

Later, Tezuka put the picture of his new little brother next to a picture of himself, taken when he had gone on a rare hiking trip with his father who always managed to be absent. He studied them, Syusuke was sunshine, his mother said, and Tezuka thought that he himself looked very much like a stormy raincloud. He found that they had nothing in common.

Except for the endless blue that stretched high above their heads.

-

Two months passed, each day passed slowly, and yet Tezuka was never idle. His mother insisted that this type of lifestyle was hardly healthy, nor was it suitable for a boy his age, Though his grandfather insisted otherwise, so now in the mornings, he still practiced calligraphy, the afternoon was still alloted for gardening, but in the evenings, there was only one game of go, and then he retreated up to his room for some time to himself.

He usually read, and now, since his little brother was from London, Tezuka took it upon himself to labor through an English novel with a dictionary at his side. He was about halfway through the thin novel, and it had taken days. He read five pages a day, and they seemed to him, very long pages.

Every once in a while, he would glance at the two pictures that sat side by side.

Like now, when his eyes were tired. Tezuka took off his glasses and flopped against the bed. Eight, in an hour, he'd have to go to bed. He was considering asking his grandfather for another game of go when his mother's voice floated up the stairs.

"Kunimitsu! He's here!"

-

He was here. Tezuka realized that practicing, 'My name is Kunimitsu Tezuka, I'm your big brother' in front of the mirror twenty times before he went to bed every night (in English of course) had been in vain. Each step down the stairs brought him closer to someone he all of the sudden did not have the nerves to face. Pride was important to Tezuka, the last thing he needed was to look completely foolish.

The rest of his family was gathered in the living room. His mother, his grandfather, and the small boy that sat tucked between them trying to be invisible on the couch.

"Come, Syusuke, don't be shy." His mother chided. "Here's Kunimitsu."

Tezuka cleared his throat, and forced the words out of his throat one by one.

"I'm Kunimitsu Tezuka, I'm your big brother." Just like he practiced.

Big blue eyes peeked out at him from behind a cushion. "You speak English?"

"A little."

That earned him a smile from Syusuke, a shy smile, but a smile nonetheless. "I speak Japanese too, a little." He demonstrated, "_Sukoshi dake._" He looked proud of himself. "Right?"

Tezuka nodded. Syusuke had rolled off the words with a strange European lilt, but he liked it. "Yes, that's right."

His mother beamed, and his grandfather tried hard not to look so pleased, but failed anyway. And then Tezuka's mother said, "Why don't you take Syusuke up to see his room?"

"I get my own room?"

Tezuka wondered why Syusuke looked and sounded so shocked. "Yes, you do. It's right next to mine. Come on."

-

"It's so...big. Do I have to sleep in here all by myself?"

But it was plain to see that Syusuke obviously approved of his new accommodations, for he flopped down on the big bed and giggled. "This bed is too big for one person. You come too." He patted the mattress invitingly.

Tezuka sat down, gingerly.

Syusuke rolled over, so that he was right next to where Tezuka sat. "Kunimitsu is your name, right?"

"Yes."

"It's so long. Can I make it shorter?"

Tezuka was dumbfounded. "How?"

"...Mitsu."

Tezuka choked. "What?"

A small hand patted his back, "You'll be Mitsu, okay?"

No, it was certainly not okay. 'Mitsu' made him sound like a girl and quite frankly, Tezuka despised the nickname. "How about...niisan?"

Syusuke's face wrinkled, "What does that mean?"

"Big brother."

For a moment, Syusuke's face fell. But then he smiled, just a few seconds later, "Are you really my big brother?"

"Yes."

"Okay then, I guess you can be niisan." Syusuke agreed amiably, "I still like Mitsu better though. It's cute. _Kawaii_."

Tezuka choked again.

This time, Syusuke pretended not to notice, "Can niisan sleep with me today in my room?"

He paused, Tezuka didn't really want to, but this was his little brother, and he had to be hospitable. "If you promise never to call me Mitsu again. Ever." He added, rather severely.

"Okay, I promise." Syusuke said, and then tugged him down, "Lie down."

"I am."

"I rode here on an airplane all by myself. I'm tired." And then Syusuke yawned and grew still. Tezuka lay beside him, unmoving. When he realized that his brother's breathing had grown completely still, he reached for a wayward blanket and dropped it over them both.

* * *

-

* * *

Tezuka was seven years old. And Syusuke was getting on to be seven. One of Tezuka's daily duties, now that his brother mastered Japanese to the best of his seven-year-old abilities, was to teach him calligraphy. Honestly, it wasn't a task that he particularly enjoyed.

"Why can't I write Fuji?" Syusuke pouted, "It's my name."

"Your name is Tezuka now." Tezuka told him sternly, "You have to write Tezuka." He dipped his brush into the inkwell again. "Here, watch me." On a clean piece of parchment, he wrote 'Tezuka' in bold strokes.

"But Fuji's easier to write." His brother protested and grabbed another brush, "See? One, and two, and three, and four, and five. That's 'Fu', and 'Ji' is just one, two. See? It's so easy, I can't write 'Tezuka'."

"Yes, you can. You're not trying hard enough." Tezuka sighed, he'd never known teaching calligraphy was this frustrating. "We'll write together."

He put his hand over Syusuke's, and guided the brush to the paper. "It's easy, you just have to practice. 'Te' is easy. And remember that this one stroke is the one that everyone messes up in 'Zuka'."

"Niisan doesn't mess it up though." Syusuke smiled at him.

"I did when I was learning." Tezuka admitted, and then he saw Syusuke's eyes widen, "What?"

"Niisan should stop frowning so much, niisan has wrinkles already." Syusuke poked his forehead as he spoke.

For that comment, Tezuka took his brush and painted a bold black stroke on his little brother's cheek. Though it earned him one of the severest scoldings he'd ever had to endure, it gave Tezuka more than a little satisfaction that stroke that did not wash off until a month later.

* * *

-

* * *

Tezuka was ten years old. Being ten meant a lot of things, it meant taking the bus by yourself to school, and taking the bus back. It meant club activities after school, although Tezuka really didn't consider himself as a club person. He'd only stayed because Syusuke did.

Syusuke found a niche in almost everything. He was now captain of the chess club, class vice president, (he could have been president if he wanted, but ceded the spot to Tezuka) founder of the art club and the reason most girls came to school. Even the older girls, the ones in sixth grade. Instead of envying Syusuke, Tezuka felt proud of him.

And besides, it wasn't as if Tezuka didn't have his own sphere of influence, he was captain of the go club, and the girls that didn't come for Syusuke came for Tezuka. He was also captain of the tennis club. Tennis was an unexpected interest that the two of them ended up sharing. And they became quite good at it too.

Though the one thing that bothered Tezuka just a little was that Syusuke blatantly refused to become his vice captain. His reasoning was simple, 'We're already class president and vice president, if we like this for tennis too, I think it will bother some people."

"What do you mean...bother?" Tezuka was perplexed, "We're good at what we do, this should be enough."

"Only because niisan is very fair. That's why you say that." Syusuke chided him, "Don't worry though, just because I'm not vice captain doesn't mean I won't be around." Slinging his bag over his shoulder, Syusuke stood, "Oh, I forgot to tell you, I'm not riding the bus with you today."

"Why?"

"I promised Yuriko-san I'd walk her home."

"Where does she live?"

"Half a block away from school. I think I'm just going to be ten fifteen minutes late. You're not going to tell on me, are you?"

Tezuka considered, he was not happy that Fuji took to walking random people home every day, but what could he do about it? "Are you going to catch the five-thirty bus?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'll wait for you, if it's only ten fifteen minutes, I'll just stay here and practice my swings." Tezuka said, reaching for the racket he had just put away. "It's better if we come home together, grandfather will ask less questions. If he does, we'll just say practice ran late."

Syusuke suddenly rushed at him and Tezuka almost toppled backwards. "Niisan is the best! I'll try to hurry back."

-

Tezuka ended up practicing swings for a full hour and it was not until six-thirty until he spotted Syusuke slinking in the gates, trying to appear very inconspicuous. Tezuka only looked at him and sighed. The slightly smaller boy cringed at once and looked down at the ground.

"Niisan, I'm sorry, but Yuriko-san's mother was so nice and invited me in for some snacks and I guess I forgot the time, and..." Syusuke hung his head, "...I'm just making up excuses. Go ahead and scold, if you'd like." He said, with the air of a martyr.

"I don't scold." Tezuka walked back to the bench and slipped his racket in its case, "That's Grandfather's job. You know that."

"Niisan is scarier than Grandfather."

Tezuka weighed his tennis bag in one hand, "I am?"

Syusuke nodded, "A lot of girls want to ask you to walk home with them. Actually, I have a list. Most of them are too scared to ask for themselves." He waved a piece of pink stationery in Tezuka's face, "I have proof."

Tezuka could only shake his head, "Let's just go home, Syusuke. At this rate, I'm going to get scolded too."

This made Syusuke's face color, "Sorry, I didn't mean for you to..."

A pause, and then Tezuka settled a hand on his brother's head, "...Never mind, let's just go home."

* * *

-

* * *

Tezuka was twelve.

Twelve meant growing up too quickly, at least, for him. It wasn't like he was dead or anything, but it was Syusuke's orders for him to lie still while his brother ran off and got some more ice. He pressed a half melted ice pack to his throbbing arm.

"Niisan, I got some more ice."

He opened his eyes, Syusuke stared down at him. Tezuka shifted, "Is it okay for you to be wandering around while practice is still going on? I"m all right, my arm is just a little numb."

Syusuke frowned, "Well, Ryuzaki-sensei isn't...happy about it, but she said I could take as long as I needed to look after you."

"I don't need looking after." To prove his point, Tezuka propped himself up with his good arm...with some difficulty. "You're going to get in trouble if the senpais think you are loitering."

"I'm not loitering." Syusuke glowered, "I'm looking after you. You don't have to be so strong all the time, niisan. When it hurts, you can say it hurts. What am I going to do? Laugh at you?" He plopped down on a nearby stool, "Kimura-senpai shouldn't have done it. Just because you beat him didn't give him any right to hit you."

"I know."

"Why did you let him hit you?"

Tezuka looked at his brother, "If he hadn't hit me, he would have done something worse. I'd rather have him hit me."

Syusuke looked down at his hands, "But..." His voice got softer and softer, "...I wish he'd hit your right arm instead. If..."

"Syusuke, you're thinking too much." Tezuka said, although to his own ears, his words sounded quite heavy. "I'll be all right. If it gets that unbearable, I might just take up playing tennis permanently with my right hand."

"I hate it when niisan jokes, niisan's not funny at all."

Tezuka said nothing. He only sat up, with his legs dangling over the infirmary bed, lying down made him feel like an invalid – and an invalid his certainly was not. "I wasn't trying to be funny. Let's get back to practice. There's no sense in making everyone madder than they already are."

"They have no right to be mad." Syusuke stood up, "Are you mad?"

"A little."

"Niisan..."

Tezuka paused, he sighed. "Syusuke, stop it. Whining is not going to do you any good. I know you're upset. But try to let this blow over, all right? It will, like everything else."

"Arai-senpai shouldn't have made the regulars." His brother continued, as if he hadn't heard anything, "He couldn't even hit the ball properly, and all of his serves are bad. If you were captain, you wouldn't have let him on the team, right?"

But Tezuka was not captain. Tezuka was just a little meddlesome freshman with a loyal hound of a brother. He wondered if Syusuke knew what they said about him.

"Niisan?"

"Nothing, let's go."

-

Back on the courts, Tezuka looked at the ground to avoid jeering eyes. He was not ashamed, but he saw no need to stoke the fire. Syusuke stood quietly at his side and Yamato-buchou towered almost menacingly over them both.

At last, it was Syusuke who burst out, "Niisan didn't do anything wrong! He was on--"

Tezuka quickly clapped a hand over his brother's mouth before Syusuke could say any more. He shot his brother a glare and Syusuke obediently deflated, "I'm sorry, buchou." Tezuka said, "I was out of line."

"How is your arm?" Yamato-buchou asked, with eyes hidden behind his glasses, it was hard to tell if he asked out of concern.

"It's numb, but I think it will be all right."

"Good." Yamato smiled and something in Tezuka's chest snapped, mostly out of relief, "Because of disorderly conduct, I'm ordering everyone to run a hundred laps. Including me, I don't get enough exercise." With that he headed to the track, "...If you don't get a move on, it'll be sundown by the time you finish."

Syusuke only glared at their captain's back, "But you're injured, niisan, you shouldn't have to."

"Yamato-buchou's running with us." Tezuka assured him, "Now, come on. Or else it will really be sundown."


	2. Chapter One: Doubts and Realizations

**My Brother's Keeper**

AU, TezukaFuji. As brothers, their bond was unbreakable, and as lovers, their passion was unending. But when a ghost of the past shows up to haunt Syusuke's perfect life, Tezuka realizes that he cannot protect his little brother from everything.

-

**A/N: **As always, sankyuu to all those who reviewed. I love you all, you feed my muse. I've actually taken the time to outline this story and I hope it will be done by the end of November at the latest, if nothing comes up. I just want to prove to myself that I can indeed finish a story and not leave everything incomplete, as I seem to have a habit of doing. But as a warning to you all, probably until MBK is finished, other updates will be more scarce. However, I hope that chapter 2 does not disappoint! Ja ne!

* * *

**-**

**Chapter One**

**Doubts and Realizations**

-

* * *

His door creaked, and Tezuka, who had never been a deep sleeper in the first place, shot up in bed, looking very disheveled in his yukata. There was a figure in his doorway. He laid back down and heaved a heavy sigh. "Syusuke, it's late. Do you need something?" It was very late, the clock on the wall said three am.

"It's cold in my room, niisan. D'you think I could sleep in here?"

Tezuka paused, he wondered how to break the news to his brother without hurting his feelings, "...Syusuke." He said finally, rubbing his eyes, "...It's the middle of August. Cold is good in the middle of August."

Still, Syusuke stepped into his room, "...Niisan, please?"

"You're thirteen." Tezuka lay down again, "Stop whining like a child."

Then Syusuke touched him with a cold, clammy hand and Tezuka winced.

"Please?"

He relented, what choice did he have? Tezuka drew back the thin blankets and Syusuke's face lit up as he wriggled under the blankets next to his brother. Tezuka noted that the smile was ever warm, though Syusuke's entire body felt like an ice block, but he kept from flinching. "Are you sick?"

"No." Syusuke smiled in the dark, "But I'm freezing."

In the middle of August, freezing was...rare. But Tezuka took one of Syusuke's hands and began to rub the numb fingers. "It's the middle of August." Tezuka said again, as if that explained everything. To his logical mind, it did.

"Saa, I'm weird that way, I guess." Syusuke looked down at their intertwined fingers, "Can I ask you something?"

"Ask, but after this question, I'm going back to sleep."

"...Should I...be here?"

Tezuka looked at the boy beside him. Even though the boy's lips would always smile, his eyes were a dark azure that held something that frightened Tezuka. Instinctively, he gripped his brother's hand tighter. Besides, this was the first time in Tezuka's infallible memory that Syusuke had asked him such a strange, but ominous question.

"You have every right to be here." Tezuka said, "You are here, as my little brother."

Syusuke didn't look convinced, "I just..." Then he shook his head, "...Do you want me here?"

At first, Tezuka said nothing. There was nothing to say when the person who had the gall to ask something like that was Syusuke himself. He merely leaned over, and touched his lips to one pale cheek for one brief moment.

But even in that one brief moment, both of Syusuke's cheeks flushed with brilliant color.

"Tezuka lay back and stared up at the ceiling. "Stop asking silly questions and go to sleep."

-

Winter exams rolled around, and there was no more tennis. Well, that wasn't quite accurate, there was tennis, but only when Tezuka found time to go, and convinced Syusuke to go along with him. The first wasn't often, and the second even less so. Winter meant lots of studying, and the annual trip to the mountains, where it snowed all the time.

Syusuke said it snowed all the time in London.

Tezuka was surprised that Syusuke still remembered London. Sometimes, his family took trips in the summer. When he was nine, there had been a trip to Chicago. When he was twelve, there had been a trip to Berlin. Actually, that wasn't so much a vacation, but his mother had the sense to treat it like one to settle everyone's nerves.

But they had avoided London for reasons that even young Tezuka knew very well.

But Tezuka stood there in the doorway of their cottage and watched his brother marvel at the snow. Snowflakes clung to Syusuke's hair and they looked like crystals.

"Syusuke, you're going to catch cold, come inside."

The other boy turned back to him with a flurry of white and smiled, "It's so white."

"Snow is white." Tezuka said.

"Not in London." Was Syusuke's oddly sober reply.

Silence. And then Tezuka slipped on his shoes and walked a few clunky steps to Syusuke's side, "This isn't London. The snow is white."

"I know." Syusuke took his hand, "Niisan is here too."

"Of course I am." Tezuka reached up with his other hand to brush a few flakes from his brother's hair. The crystals melted on his fingers.

"Will niisan always be here?"

For that, Tezuka had no answer.

* * *

-

* * *

Three days after Grandfather's funeral began the first longest phase of Tezuka's life. It was wholly unpleasant, and had Syusuke not been there, Tezuka was sure he would have done something drastic.

Tezuka took to throwing up whatever he ate. No, it wasn't because he had bulimia. It was simply because tears refused to fall from his eyes, and vomiting was the only grieving his body knew how to do. He missed a week of school and Syusuke insisted on staying home with him. In fact, Tezuka didn't ever remember Syusuke not being there when he opened his eyes, unless his brother went to get food, or went to take a shower.

Tezuka was fifteen, and very disgusted with himself. He found that he despised everything, the taste of the vomit clinging to his mouth, the sweat soaking his sheets and his clothes, when he woke up, and even Syusuke, sometimes.

He absolutely, absolutely hated it when Syusuke told him, "Niisan, it's all right to feel sad."

"I'm not...supposed to."

"Says who?"

Tezuka faltered. He closed his eyes, "The older you are, the more difficult you get." It was meant to sound stern, but Tezuka in his current condition barely managed to sound meek.

"...The same goes for you, niisan."

"I'm not difficult."

Syusuke had the nerve to laugh, "So you say." He sat down at the edge of the bed, "I think you're plenty difficult. But that's why you're niisan." Then Syusuke stood up again, "Well, since you have so much energy to be difficult, you might as well eat. I'll go get some food."

Before Syusuke could step away, Tezuka caught his wrist, "Syusuke."

"Mm?"

"Stay. I don't have to eat. I'll just throw it all back up."

Syusuke paused, and a smile played about his lips. "Niisan is very bad at making excuses." Tezuka received a small prim kiss on the forehead for his troubles, "You better not throw up. I'd hate to bother Mom with laundry...again."

Tezuka watched his brother leave. Syusuke had grown taller and the years had been kind to him. It'd been ten years since he had first stepped into his life, and he had filled out beautifully. Long legs, white arms, he wished, for a moment, he could just hold his brother against the door frame and stare at him...for a long time.

"Niisan, say 'ah.'"

Tezuka's eyes widened. "Syusuke, what is...this?"

"It's oatmeal." Syusuke said, still smiling, "I made it."

Oatmeal. At least, that was what Syusuke called it. But the mush in the bowl looked suspiciously unlike oatmeal. For starters, it was gray, with a tint of some other color he couldn't quite discern. Tezuka wrinkled his nose.

"Are you sure?"

"I might have...burned it a little. On accident. But I added lots of sugar, it should be okay." Syusuke's smile turned sheepish, he held up his other hand, there was a small burn near the wrist.

"You shouldn't have played with the stove." Somehow, even though the burn made him feel slightly guilty, the burn on Syusuke's wrist gave him the excuse to take his big brother role back. "Let me see."

"I already iced it. It doesn't hurt anymore." Syusuke said, but nonetheless dutifully presented his hand for introspection. "And I'm fifteen. I don't play with the stove. I'm hardly a kid anymore, niisan."

Tezuka gave him a look, but gingerly took the spoonful offered him. It was too sugary, and tasted slightly burnt. But he forced himself to swallow.

"You still whine like one."

Syusuke frowned, "Niisan is mean. I don't want to cook for you anymore."

* * *

-

* * *

Sixteen. Sweet sixteenth. And Syusuke's birthday was on an actual existing day. A present for his brother was a constant problem. A problem he'd finally solved thanks to another boy who also wore a constant smile out of habit.

"I'm going to take Syusuke to get his ears pierced on his birthday. So that makes your job easier, you can just buy him earrings."

Yukimura Seiichi was infamous for his piercings. He had at least five holes punched in each ear and on a side note, had a spastic dress sense. One upside was that Yukimura had a body like Syusuke's and therefore looked good in anything he bothered to put on. At seventeen, Yukimura was older than Tezuka or Syusuke and certainly acted like it.

But for some reason, it bothered Tezuka that his present was in lieu of Yukimura's present...he was pondering this when Yukimura's voice cut through his thoughts again.

"These look nice, don't they?"

Tezuka looked at the pair of earrings that Yukimura held up. No, they did not look nice, they looked heavy, and rather gaudy. He shuddered just trying to imagine Syusuke wearing them.

"Our mother won't approve."

"Of what? Pierced ears?" The look that Yukimura gave him was slightly condescending. "It's not like I"m teaching him to drink."

Tezuka glared at him, "That's not it."

"What then?" Yukimura put the earrings back, "You don't want him to get his ears pierced? He can't be your precious little brother forever, you know." He smirked, "Syusuke happens to like the idea."

Tezuka didn't like the way Yukimura called Syusuke's name, because it sounded too much like him. In fact, he dared to venture one step further and say that he didn't like Yukimura Seiichi at all.

-

"Are you going to get your ears pierced?"

Tezuka found his brother sprawled on the floor of his bedroom, sketching idly on a notepad. Syusuke's hair had gotten kind of long, he noticed, almost down to his shoulders, and Tezuka couldn't help but wonder if it was Yukimura's influence. Syusuke brushed back a strand of hair and glanced up at him. "I'm thinking about it."

"Don't."

Syusuke's pencil stopped moving, "Why?"

"Because..." He stopped, there was nothing to say.

Syusuke rescued him, "I didn't say I was going to. I'm just thinking about it." His brother smiled at him, "Would you sit and stay awhile? I want to draw you."

Tezuka considered. The fact that Syusuke was only thinking about getting his ears pierced comforted him a little. He stepped into the room and sat almost gingerly against the wall.

"Come closer." Syusuke tapped the floor next to him, "I don't bite. You know that."

Syusuke did not bite, but then that didn't change anything. Tezuka still felt awkward as he picked himself up and walked over to his brother. Sat down again.

"Something is bothering you, niisan." Syusuke said, as he flipped his pad over for a fresh sheet of paper.

"I'm fine." Tezuka lied through his teeth.

"Sure you are."

But Tezuka said nothing else, and Syusuke said nothing else, and there was quiet after that. Only the faint scritch-scratch of his pencil filled the silence and Tezuka found himself studying his younger brother again. Yes, of course Yukimura had been pouring all sorts of nonsense into Syusuke's head. Even though his brother didn't have his ears pierced yet, Yukimura's marks were already evident.

Too evident.

Syusuke never wore much jewelry before Yukimura came along. But now, three thin silver chains adorned his neck and Syusuke seemed very much at ease with wearing an over-sized sweater that left one shoulder completely bare. 'Slutty' wasn't the word for it, but certainly, Syusuke had gotten more daring.

Tezuka's eyes inevitably found a faint reddish mark on the soft white curve of Syusuke's neck. He swallowed, hard.

"Syusuke."

"Yeah?" His brother didn't look up, working still quite intently on his sketch.

"Look at me."

Syusuke did, "What?"

Tezuka touched the bare skin of his brother's shoulder. He let his fingers ghost over the mark, "...What's this?"

"This? I nicked myself with a shirt a couple of days back. You know, the stupid label thing." Syusuke said without any hesitation. "I know, it looks like something else. But you know I'd never do anything like that."

Or would he? With Yukimura present in the picture, Tezuka couldn't help but wonder.

-

A couple of days later, Fuji walked into Tezuka's room and flopped down on the bed. Tezuka looked up from the novel he was reading. "Niisan, I have a dilemma."

Tezuka turned the page, "What kind of dilemma?"

"Well...I just went out with Seiichi." Syusuke said, "...And I decided not to get my ears pierced, it looked like it would hurt." He sighed, "So for my present, he bought me some clothes. But...I'm ranting, the point is that...niisan, I'm so confused."

'Seiichi' set off alarms in Tezuka's head. But he mentally cheered at the fact that Syusuke hadn't gotten his ears pierced. "What did Yukimura do this time?"

"He didn't really...do anything." Syusuke mumbled, twirling a loose strand of hair around his finger, "It's just...he kind of...sort of...told me he, um, liked me."

Tezuka felt a knot form in his stomach. "And what did you say?"

"Well...I said, I'd think about it. But I'm not really sure how to...think about it." Syusuke bit his lip. "How did you manage with Atobe?"

For that, Tezuka blanched. He didn't manage anything with Atobe. Nothing at all. He needed to set the record straight, "Atobe and I aren't dating. We just go fishing a lot. I've told you before."

"...So...niisan is single?" Syusuke sounded doubtful.

"I've always been...single."

Tezuka closed his eyes, his brother was going to drop a bombshell, he knew it. A second later, Syusuke would surely say, _"Well, I'm not. Seiichi and I are dating now." _

And then --

"Niisan, what should I say?"

Tezuka opened his eyes again. He suddenly felt tired, and he was in no mood for this. Hell if he was just going to give Yukimura Seiichi his little brother just like that. But for some reason, Tezuka knew he didn't have much of a choice. He glanced at Syusuke, who was still playing with his hair. The action was surprisingly endearing. It was Tezuka's turn to sigh. "Syusuke, you shouldn't ask me something like that."

"Why not?"

"I can't give you an...honest answer."

"How about a dishonest answer?"

Tezuka realized that he couldn't read the deep blues of his brother's eyes. "What good would that do?"

"I don't know." Syusuke said, "I wish he wouldn't like me, it makes things complicated." He lay down on the mattress, his head a few inches away from where Tezuka himself lay. "What if I said, 'Niisan, I like you'? What would you say?"

Tezuka's mouth fell open. "What?"

Syusuke was blushing, he was blushing so hard that he grabbed a nearby pillow and buried his face in it. "Never mind...I didn't say anything."

"Syusuke, what did you say?"

Incoherent muffling from the pillow.

Tezuka gently pried the pillow away from his brother's hands, and yet Syusuke still refused to look at him. "I...are you sure you want to hear it again? You might hate me, niisan."

"I won't hate you."

"...Promise?" Syusuke said into the mattress.

"I promise."

"I...I like niisan." Now Syusuke's mumbles were somewhat decipherable. "Probably...I like you the way that Seiichi likes me...and that's okay right? I mean, we're not...exactly brothers. Even though...you'll still be niisan."

The confession struck Tezuka dumb. He put down his book and tried to rally his very disorganized thoughts. Syusuke..._liked_ him? Tezuka had always thought he...sort of, _liked _Syusuke, but he'd always been content to stay the way they were...but...

Syusuke took his silence for anger.

"You lied. Niisan is mad."

"No, I never said that." Tezuka found his voice, finally. "But...if you asked me something like that..." He trailed off. There wasn't anything he could say that was appropriate to the occasion, so in the end, he said, "Syusuke."

Syusuke lay on his back, with his eyes closed, "What?"

Tezuka leaned over the other boy, who stayed perfectly still. He pressed closer and closer until he heard the younger boy's breathing hitch. This made him bold, and before he could dwell on the implications of what he was about to do, he slid his mouth over Syusuke's, effectively swallowing the other's strangled moan.

"I'd probably do this."

Syusuke's eyes were glazed, and his lips were red and full. But after a moment passed, Syusuke smiled. "I like you." He raised his arms up and locked his fingers around Tezuka's neck, "Kiss me again."

-

They lay still, arms entwined, legs entwined, with a few thin blankets tucked between their bare bodies.

After a while, Tezuka ventured, "...I guess...a belated birthday present is in order. What would you like?"

Syusuke's breath was warm and moist buried in the crook of his neck and Tezuka heard his brother laugh. "...At the risk of sounding horribly shallow, niisan sounds nice for my birthday."

Tezuka felt his own lips twitch, "You have me. You have always had me."

"...Saa...Do I really?" Syusuke raised one hand up and cupped the side of Tezuka's face, "Then...I guess, I don't want anything."


	3. Chapter Two: Catalyst

**My Brother's Keeper**

AU, TezukaFuji. As brothers, their bond was unbreakable, and as lovers, their passion was unending. But when a ghost of the past shows up to haunt Syusuke's perfect life, Tezuka realizes that he cannot protect his little brother from everything.

-

**A/N: **Yay! Another update, go me! Nah, I'm kidding, but I am glad I got this chapter up. It was a biznatch to write, but I'm for the most part, happy with it. This is where we get into the meat of the story and things get interesting! (At least I think it's interesting...feel free to correct me if you feel otherwise.) Please tell me some of you were expecting the twist? xD I wasn't entirely subtle, after all. As always, **HUGE THANK YOUS** to all reviewers, I want to cyber-glomp you all! Really, I do. You guys really honestly make my world go around.

And as a side note, as of chapter 4, the next chapter after this one, the **rating will be upped to M**. I will attempt my first -posted- lemon (ish much embarrassed. Yeah, but just to let you guys know.)

* * *

**-**

**Chapter Two**

**Catalyst**

-

* * *

Eighteen.

It was year in his life that would change everything. It was also the year that held the second longest phase of his life. Although of course, Tezuka didn't know that yet. In fact, he thought that this year was really starting off rather well. And Tezuka considered himself somewhat of a grounded realist and it was hard for him to see anything positively, so that was saying a lot.

Somehow, the new turn in his relationship with Syusuke hadn't seemed to bother his mother that much. They had always been close, since the day Syusuke came, and her reasoning was that Tezuka would always build his brother a shrine whenever he asked. And Syusuke would continue to be Tezuka's sunshine.

And for other people, they'd expected it. Atobe had even started a betting pool on the subject, much to Tezuka's dismay and Syusuke's delight. Why Syusuke was delighted, well...that was a mystery in itself.

"Niisan, turn your head towards me a little."

They had found an apartment not far from their actual house and being the _artiste, _yes, Syusuke had taken up French as a major along with art conservation, but because he was an artist, he insisted on bestowing art everywhere in their apartment. Which was why he was currently lying on the couch shirtless while Syusuke sketched.

"Syusuke, this is embarrassing." But he did as he was told.

"Why? It's only you. And it's only me."

Well, yes, Syusuke had a point, but there was no telling where his sketches actually ended up.

"Yes but..."

"But?"

"Your sketches..."

Syusuke laughed at him, "I keep them all. It's not like I like to advertise you naked. Someone might steal you from me, if that happens."

Tezuka was left to wonder how he was supposed to react to something like that. But Syusuke didn't seem to be expecting an answer, so he was spared.

-

It was an hour later, that Tezuka finally voiced a complaint. "Syusuke, can you stop a moment? I feel like my neck is about to break."

The look Syusuke gave him a supremely amused one, "You're just lying there. I'm the one doing all the work."

"Yes, well. For the sake of your sketch, I haven't moved for an hour."

Syusuke blinked. He put down his sketch and stuck his pencil behind his ear, "I forgot." He said, sounding rather sheepish. With that, he crossed over to the couch where Tezuka lay. "Where does it hurt?"

Tezuka caught one of Syusuke's hands by the wrist and guided it to the back of his neck, "Around here."

He knew his brother was smirking. "...Nowhere else? I'm disappointed, niisan."

Tezuka rolled his eyes, "You pervert."

-

But in the end, Syusuke always did get what he wanted.

Not that Tezuka particularly minded. He now lay on the couch with his boxers half on and half off. The gentle hum of the shower running told him that Syusuke was probably washing off and laughing at him in the shower, as he liked to do. Not that he minded that either. It was hard for him to mind anything while his mind was sated and hazy.

At last, he roused himself enough to put his boxers on properly and walked over to where his brother had left his sketchpad. Without thinking, Tezuka picked it up, and flipped it over to the most recent drawing – today. It looked as if Syusuke hadn't gotten much done. Well, of course, if his younger brother was always thinking about violating him on the couch...that came as little surprise.

Tezuka shook the thought away. Far away. Going around with Syusuke meant that indecent thoughts popped up when he least expected them to.

And the couch coverlet needed changing...again.

A sigh escaped Tezuka's lips, he was sticky. He wanted a shower, but somewhere along the line, it became a given that Syusuke laid claims to the shower first. Maybe it was time he tried not to spoil Syusuke too much.

But there was nothing he could do now. Tezuka put down the sketchpad and turned his attention back to the couch. Being a neat and meticulous person by nature, Tezuka folded up the stained coverlet before slinging it over one arm.

A faint buzzing made him jump.

The doorbell.

Tezuka panicked. He was in no state to receive visitors, even casual ones. And not only that, after every one of Syusuke's sketching sessions, the living room floor was always littered with crumpled paper. And the shower was still running. Tezuka wished Syusuke would hurry up. Syusuke was the one that knew how to deal with visitors.

But after a few long moments, the shower continued running, and the doorbell didn't stop ringing.

Tezuka put down the coverlet and pulled on his wrinkled shirt. He would just have to remind his unexpected guests not to sit on the couch near the coverlet. His eyesight was of course, a little blurry without his glasses, but Tezuka could manage. He just hoped whoever was on the other side of that door didn't mind that he looked disheveled. It was one of those very rare weekdays off.

He opened the door, and paused for a long minute.

A beautiful woman stood on the other side of the door. She looked very put together and decidedly European with her blonde hair done up, and wearing a white business suit. She wasn't the only one, there was a boy at her side, the boy looked younger than Tezuka, but nevertheless, very well put together.

It made him ashamed of his own mussed appearance. "...May I...help you?"

The woman gave him a strange, suspicious look. "..._Eigo ga wakarimasuka_?" Did he understand English? Spoken in a strange lilt that was just a little familiar.

"...Yes." Granted, Tezuka didn't think he could speak it well. At least, compared to Syusuke and Atobe, he knew very well that his English was atrocious. But still, he could hold his own in relatively simple conversations, so therefore the 'yes' was not a lie. "A little...may I help you?"

In the woman's eyes, there was relief. "Then, does a Fuji Syusuke live here?"

Fuji Syusuke. Tezuka's throat turned to ice. Syusuke was Tezuka Syusuke, he had been Tezuka Syusuke for almost thirteen years now. And yes, Tezuka knew that Syuske's former surname had been Fuji, but not many people did.

He didn't answer the woman's question, but what he did say was, "Would you like to come in?" and opened the door wider.

She stepped in at his invitation and the boy beside her quickly followed. Tezuka studied him briefly. Mother and son? No, of course not, the boy seemed too old, the woman too young, but still...

"He is here, isn't he?"

Tezuka opened his mouth to reply, "Well--"

The shower had stopped running. Tezuka heard soft steps approaching and didn't know whether or not to be relieved.

"Niisan, you can go take a shower now."

Tezuka turned, finally deciding that he was grateful for a distraction from the strange woman and the silent boy who were very present in the room. Syusuke was wearing a towel on his head, no shirt and sweats. He stopped short, surveying the scene.

"...We have guests?"

Tezuka mentally kicked himself. This was getting to be fifteen tons of awkward. Why couldn't he just leave the door well alone? "...They're...unexpected." He said lamely, "...And they speak English." As if that explained everything.

"Oh?" The blue eyes blinked. Obviously Syusuke was confused, Tezuka didn't blame him. He was too.

_And they know your name. _

At the very least, the woman did. That alone, was cause for reasonable alarm. Tezuka narrowed his eyes when Syusuke turned away from him to offer his usual light smile to the visitors. "I'm sorry, you must forgive my niisan. He tends to be insociable and cranky." Perfect London lilted English. Exactly like the woman's. And then he glanced at Tezuka again, "Niisan, you can go, I can handle this."

Tezuka retreated into the hallway, both anxious and relieved. But the former emotion completely took over when he heard a soft gasp.

"Syusuke...it _is_ you."

"I'm sorry?" If he closed his eyes, he could see Syusuke confused, but smiling. Tezuka couldn't bring himself to step the few steps that would lead him back into the living room. Instead, he stopped, leaned against the wall, and listened.

"It is you. Yuuta, don't you remember? This is Syusuke. Your brother Syusuke." The woman's voice cracked with obvious emotion. "We've found you. We've been looking so long, Syusuke." A slight pause, as she did need to pause sometime to catch her breath, "...I'm your sister, Syusuke. I'm Yumiko. It's been so long...and I don't expect you to remember me, but..."

"You're my...sister."

Tezuka felt his throat constricting. Syusuke hadn't sounded surprised, in fact, he hadn't sounded like much of anything. Does that mean that Syusuke had known all along? And neglected to tell him?

"Yes," The woman, Yumiko was speaking again, "I am."

There stretched a long silence. Syusuke was thinking over. Tezuka realized that he was holding his breath and let it out, slowly.

Then Syusuke said, "Please leave." Two simple, shattering words.

"...Syusuke..."

"I don't know how you found me and I don't care either. Just leave. Don't come back."

"--Syusuke!" Distress, bewilderment, as if Yumiko really hadn't expected that reaction. "Please, be--"

"_Leave_." Tezuka winced to himself as his brother's voice rose to a strange note of hysteria. "Leave, and just leave me alone. All of you. Leave. If you don't leave—I'll..." Noisy breathing, something that Syusuke did often to calm himself down. "Leave, just leave." He repeated.

Tezuka forced his legs to move until he was back in the living room. Everyone looked rather bewildered and confused, himself included. Yumiko and the boy that had come with her were still standing, not moving. Syusuke sat on the couch and buried his head in his hands. Tezuka touched his brother's shoulder, "Syusuke...?"

"Niisan." Syusuke looked at him. Tezuka felt Yumiko glaring into his back. "Make them go away. I don't want to see them."

He was really spoiling Syusuke too much. Spoiling Syusuke often landed him somewhere between a rock and hard place..like now. Tezuka turned to face his visitors, "I'm going to have to ask you to leave." He said firmly.

The boy piped up for the first time, quite daring of him, Tezuka thought. "Who are you?"

Tezuka gave both of them a hard look. He opened his mouth, but it was Syusuke's voice that spoke for him.

"He's my brother." He whispered fiercely, "My _only_ brother."

-

Both the woman and the boy were gone. And with them, went the suffocating atmosphere of the room, everything returned to normal, for Tezuka, at least. Syusuke still refused to move from his position on the couch. Tezuka touched his shoulder again and found that they were shaking.

"...They found me."

They found him. Tezuka didn't have a clue who 'they' were. But they had found him. Wordlessly, he sank down on the couch and opened his arms. Without any hesitation, Syusuke buried his face into his chest. Syusuke's hair smelled of fresh shampoo.

"Niisan."

"Yes?"

There was a deep, careful intake of breath again. "Do you love me?"

Why now, of all times? And why love, of all things? But Tezuka nodded, and tipped the other's face up towards him for a kiss, just in case his words alone weren't enough. "I love you."

Syusuke returned the kiss with such force that Tezuka almost toppled backwards. They kissed until they ran out of air and then Syusuke lay still on top of him, except that one of his hands was rubbing Tezuka's bare stomach. "Can I be selfish?" Syusuke said after a brief silence.

Tezuka wondered what he meant, "...Selfish?"

Syusuke swallowed. "I want you." For the first time, he sounded vulnerable asking for something he usually had no trouble asking for, and even his voice trembled. He raised a hand to trace Tezuka's bottom lip, "...Help me forget about them. Would you?"

Tezuka hesitated, but then nodded. "Come to bed."

-

That night, Tezuka still ended up cradling a trembling, sobbing Syusuke in his arms, despite his best efforts. It wasn't really his fault, he knew, but he couldn't help but wonder what imprints that the visitors had left on his brother that...

His brother.

For the first time in thirteen years, Tezuka was forced to put reality into consideration. Syusuke wasn't really his brother. He had known it at the tender age of five, and he knew it now, at the not so tender age of eighteen. But...that had never been a problem.

Until now. Tezuka stroked Syusuke's hair absently. The younger didn't seem to notice, his breathing shallow, eyes closed.

Tezuka wondered what was happening. Slowly, he unwrapped his arms around Syusuke and edged the other away, bit by bit, until his arms and legs were both free. Even more slowly, he sat up, trying not to disturb the mattress, which tended to squeak in epic volumes.

The mattress stayed silent. Tezuka let out a sigh of relief. He got up and reached for his glasses that sat on the end table.

He dug out his cell phone from his jacket pocket and stole out of the room to stand on the balcony. At 11 pm, the street below was still bustling with activity. He punched speed dial two and held the phone up to his ear.

"Hello?" A woman's voice. Warm, rather hoarse, but familiar.

"Mother, it's me, Kunimitsu."

"Kunimitsu!" He imagined her eyebrows shooting up. It wasn't like her very considerate eldest son to call her so late. "What's wrong? Are you all right? Is Syusuke all right?"

"I'm fine. And Syusuke's...fine." There was that abrupt pause, but Syusuke was fine. He was sleeping, he was safe. He wasn't lying to his mother. "I'm sorry to disturb you so late...but..." Maybe it was better to come out and say it instead of weaseling the truth out of his mother, he'd never been good at that, that tactic was more or less up Syusuke's alley. "I have a question for you. I...I ask you to be honest with me."

"Ask." He saw her brows furrowing in worry.

"Syusuke. His real name is Fuji Syusuke."

"Yes. I thought you knew that."

Tezuka leaned one elbow on the balcony, "...In London, did he have family?"

There was a long pause, "Kunimitsu, what's going on?"

It was Tezuka's turn to pause, "It's...actually..."

"Niisan?"

In a moment of panic, Tezuka snapped his phone shut. He would owe his mother a hefty explanation later, that he knew very well. But that would come later. Taking a moment to collect himself, Tezuka turned around, keeping his voice neutral. "...What're you doing up?"

"Mou...it's barely eleven. I don't want to go to bed yet." Syusuke stepped out barefoot onto the balcony and wrapped his arms snugly around Tezuka's waist and pressed his face warmly into his back. "What are you doing out here?"

"Air." Tezuka said, an excuse he'd often used. The one hand that wasn't gripping the phone moved to cover Syusuke's knotted fingers around his stomach. "It's nice out."

"You were calling somebody." Syusuke said quietly after a moment. "I heard you talking. Who?"

Tezuka mentally cursed. Syusuke was supposed to be asleep, he wondered if his brother had been asleep after all. "...I...well, I was calling Atobe." He said lamely, grabbing the first name he came up with.

"Why?"

"Well..." Tezuka grabbed for words again, this was a little bit trickier. "...Nothing really, he and I were talking about...this weekend." He was weaving quite a complicated web, hopefully Atobe would be all right with it. "...Since you know, it's a long weekend, and no one has finals or anything, Atobe thought it would be relaxing for everyone to go on his yacht and get away...for a little while. Maybe we'll sail to Hakkaido."

Syusuke seemed to consider this, "...Who is 'everyone?'"

"You, me, Atobe, and Oshitari." Now Tezuka just crossed his fingers and hoped that everything would turn out the way he (accidentally) planned it.

He felt Syusuke smile against him, "...That sounds fun. I'd love to go."

-

That morning when he woke up, Tezuka took advantage of Syusuke's morning shower and ducked away to make two phone calls while he was brewing coffee. He took the easy way out and called Atobe first. He was vague on the details because he didn't want his friend harping on about things he knew nothing about.

But Atobe seemed perfectly ready to accept that Syusuke was just a little off and needed a healthy distraction. "...Spending time in Hakkaido shouldn't be a problem. Ore-sama is even glad you asked."

Tezuka poured coffee into two mugs and put down the coffee pot, "Why?"

"Yuushi's been stuck on this research project as of late. There's this girl that he's been working with that I hate."

Tezuka was amused, despite his current mood, "...I didn't think you'd be the type to get jealous, Atobe."

Atobe made an elegantly rude sound, "Whatever. Anyway, yeah. The yacht though...I'm not sure if that's doable, I think my old man might need the yacht for his friends...some are coming over from Singapore this week. I'll get a yacht, but it won't be mine."

"Aren't you supposed to be there, then?"

"I suspect they won't miss me." Atobe's tone was strangely subdued. "Besides, I have my own life now, don't I?"

Tezuka knew his friend well enough not to push the issue. "...I appreciate it."

"No problem." Atobe hung up.

Tezuka put the phone down and took a sip of coffee. He was biding his time, although he knew that he didn't have much of it. After a pause, he picked up the phone and hit speed dial two. And waited.

His mother picked up on the second ring, "Kunimitsu?"

"Yes, mother." He braced himself. "About last night...I'm sorry. Something came up. But did Syusuke have family in London?" Perhaps if he charged ahead, he'd have a chance. "I really need to know, it's...it's...urgent."

His mother hesitated, "...I'll tell you." She said finally, "As long as you tell me why you want to know."

Tezuka swallowed. Somehow, he'd expected this. She was a mother, his mother. "...We had some unexpected visitors yesterday." He said, selecting the right words to downplay the situation just so. It wouldn't do well to worry his mother when she was no longer young and seemed to know nothing at all. "...They said...they said they were Syusuke's siblings." He held his breath.

"They did?" Good, his mother sounded calm. "That's...strange. He shouldn't have any siblings. At least...I don't know of any."

"What?"

His mother continued musing as if she hadn't heard him, "...Syusuke lived with an aunt, I think, before he came to us. I talked to the aunt once or twice on the phone, she was a nice lady, but she was elderly. Syusuke is an only child, Kunimitsu."

"Oh."

Now, that, he wasn't expecting. Tezuka drank more coffee,

"Mother, are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. Is there something else, Kunimitsu? You sound distracted."

Tezuka was distracted. Currently, he was burning holes through his watch, trying to estimate how much time he had left. Syusuke took his time in the shower, but Tezuka had taken his time on the phone with Atobe because he dreaded this phone call with his mother.

"Nothing. I guess everything will sort itself out eventually. Also, Syusuke and I aren't coming back to dinner this weekend. We're going to Hakkaido. Atobe's borrowing a yacht."

She sounded amused, "Atobe-kun is very generous, isn't he? Well, have fun. The two of you work too hard."

Tezuka hung up, and not a minute too soon. Syusuke appeared a moment later, fresh from his morning shower. Eyes sparkling, as if nothing was wrong. "Niisan, did you really make me breakfast?" He grinned. "You're a sweetheart, you really are."

"It's just coffee." But Tezuka's lips betrayed him as Syusuke pecked him sweetly on the cheek.

"I can't love you for it?" Syusuke pouted.

Tezuka relented. Perhaps, like everything else, he over thought things. "Of course you can." He wound a damp strand of hair around his fingers and watched it curl against one pale cheek. "You're beautiful this morning."

Maybe everything was all right, after all.


	4. Chapter Three: My Possession

**My Brother's Keeper**

AU, TezukaFuji. As brothers, their bond was unbreakable, and as lovers, their passion was unending. But when a ghost of the past shows up to haunt Syusuke's perfect life, Tezuka realizes that he cannot protect his little brother from everything.

-

**A/N: **Wow, two days. I must say I'm rather proud of myself for getting this chapter out so early. But the real credit goes to all my reviewers, as they say: 'A review a day keeps writer's block away.' xD. No, but seriously, thanks so much for all the reviews. I thought this story was going to get so wacky that no one liked it. And as promised, the rating is upped to M, and there is a long awaited TezukaFuji lemon (is still embarrassed.) I better post this before I convince myself to delete that scene.

* * *

-

**Chapter Three**

**My Possession**

-

* * *

They were not on Atobe's yacht, but Tezuka would be lying if he said that Atobe hadn't outdone himself this time. _The Phoenix _came equipped with everything: a serving staff of ten, a captain and a co-captain, even a stocked bar and a bar mistress who was at least five years older and looked like she was paid very good money to spend the day with not quite legal boys who weren't exactly interested in her.

"I convinced Shishido to open up the bar because I promised him no one is going to get trashed." Atobe announced, as he shot his own boyfriend, Oshitari Yuushi, a pointed look. "So if one feels tipsy, one should stop drinking, _Yuushi_."

"Who, me?" Oshitari smirked at him from the divan, absently sipping a sex on the beach, which he liked for the sake of its name and nothing else. "I'm hurt, I'm rather proud of my alcohol tolerance, _Keigo_."

Syusuke, curled up on another divan idly stroking Tezuka's stomach, looked genuinely amused. "Look, Atobe, Yuushi's going to love you no matter how much you..err, can't hold your alcohol." He stifled a grin, "...Right, niisan?"

Tezuka raised an eyebrow, "You're asking me because...why?"

"Well," Syusuke smiled at him, "If _I_ was the one that got tipsy every time I had half a beer, you'd still love me, right?"

Tezuka gaged his brother's expression for a long moment, and then he took in Atobe's absolutely infuriated face, and Oshitari's very nonchalant one as he sipped his drink. He wondered how to answer without making enemies. At last, he settled on, "...Well, you don't drink."

Oshitari said, "Stop being a damn diplomat, Tezuka." He drowned the rest of his drink and placed the empty glass on the table next to him. "Just say yes, and get it over with, I mean...think about it, a horny Syusuke at your beck and call." His smirk widened, "Lovely, no?"

"Are you implying that _ore-sama's_ horny and at your beck and call, Yuushi?" Atobe demanded, although with a red face, he didn't look so regal, "I swear I will throw you overboard."

"Do it." Oshitari's smirk was firmly in place still, "It's a nice day to go for a swim, don't you think?"

And just like that, Tezuka was glad that he was forgotten as the two of them carried on their banter. Syusuke curled contentedly against him, and laughed quietly. It was an argument that Oshitari and Atobe had all the time, but it never ceased to be amusing.

"Niisan."

"Yes?"

Syusuke's blue eyes flickered, and Tezuka thought back to yesterday. His first instinct was the gather the younger tighter in his arms. His younger brother had been in a great mood all day, but Tezuka was never the one to settle. But he was pleasantly surprised as Syusuke leaned up and nibbled his earlobe. His warm breath tickled, "Nothing. I love you."

Tezuka allowed himself a vague smile at that and kissed his brother's forehead.

Atobe ruined the moment by saying, "...Just look at them, if you were half as obedient as Syusuke, I'd have no problem doting on you."

"Who said I needed you to _dote_ on me?" Oshitari smirked at him, "I'd think it's the other way around. But no one likes to dote on a high self-righteous brat, Keigo. I'm sure they've told you that."

"You're..." Atobe cut off abruptly, obviously seething, "You're insufferable, you know that? Ore-sama is _not_ a brat."

Oshitari looked like he knew it, but he wasn't bothered one bit. He got up from the divan and took his empty glass with him, "Of course I do. I'll be right back."

Atobe glared daggers at his back. "Bastard."

"Atobe," Syusuke chided from his place on the divan, "That's not nice."

"Hell if it's not."

Tezuka felt a little sorry for him. He half got up too, except Syusuke caught his wrist and looked at him. "You can take care of it. I don't particularly like being around Atobe when he's angry."

"I _resent_ that." What he really meant was 'fuck you', but Atobe Keigo had a proper upbringing. Perhaps too much so.

Tezuka left anyway.

-

"I hate that you guys are perfect. It makes me sick."

It was just like Oshitari Yuushi to say something like that. He was born a cynic, and inevitably grew up a cynic. Tezuka walked a few careful steps and stopped beside him. Sometimes he wondered how the two of them got along, one endless dreamer, and one eternal cynic. "We're not perfect." He felt the need to say, "We just learned a few things."

Oshitari snorted, "Like?"

"Compromise." Tezuka said.

"You try compromising with Keigo."

To Tezuka, that sounded like a horrifying challenge. He quickly shook his head.

"No thanks."

The other boy snorted again and fumbled in his pockets for a lighter and a pack of cigarettes. Smoking was an on off habit for Oshitari Yuushi, and Tezuka knew that Atobe despised the habit. He watched as Oshitari lit one, and inhaled deeply. "But it's all right like this, he needs someone to argue with, and I don't mind doing it. Things are rather...stressful right now."

"For Atobe?"

"Yeah."

Tezuka said nothing. He knew of Atobe's various problems, but he never was stupid enough to delve too deeply into them. But Oshitari seemed content to talk and Tezuka let him. Tezuka paused a moment, and then looked at him again.

"So." Oshitari abruptly changed the subject, "Why did you follow me?"

"Syusuke's counseling Atobe. I just thought I'd be useless there."

Oshitari raised a skeptical eyebrow, "And?"

Tezuka sighed, "I have to ask you something."

His friend blew a thin wisp of smoke towards the sky, "...I thought you might, ask away."

Oshitari was also affluent and wealthy. Of course, he wasn't as wealthy as Atobe, no, but he certainly came from a well-to-do family, who gained their reputation by running of the largest security firms in the whole of Japan. A fact that Tezuka had disregarded until now. He'd never dreamed that it would come in handy, "...Could I ask you to run three background checks for me?"

"Background checks?" Oshitari looked surprised. He idly tapped the end of his cigarette and watched the ashes fall. "Sure. Why do you need them?"

Tezuka paused, "I'm curious about something."

"Oh?" Inhale, exhale, and another thin film of smoke left Oshitari's lips. "Who?"

"Fuji Syusuke."

Oshitari's eyes widened, "...Fuji Syusuke...as in...your Syusuke?"

His Syusuke. After the fiasco yesterday, Tezuka couldn't help but rethink that. "Yes, that's his name, before he got adopted. Find out everything you can before he came to live with me. And if you happen to find siblings, do a check on them too."

"Tezuka, what's going on?" Oshitari's brows furrowed in bother curiosity and concern, "I thought you said Syusuke was an only child."

Tezuka looked down, as if the fathomless blue of the sea held answers that he so desperately sought, "That's what I was told. That's what my mother was told, too. But...I doubt that it's the truth, that can't be right."

"Why? Did something happen?" Privately, the cynic in Oshitari crowed, he had been expecting something like this to happen.

"You'll find out anyway if you do the checks, won't you?" Tezuka said. He didn't want to talk about this, talking about this felt like betraying Syusuke somehow. Something he didn't plan on doing on any level.

"I suppose." Oshitari shrugged, he let the subject go and Tezuka was grateful. "Are you in a hurry?"

"A bit." Tezuka admitted. He had chased them off, and Syusuke had been firm, but there was no telling when his strange, foreign, unwanted visitors would strike again.

His friend seemed to consider, tapping his now dead cigarette against the railing, "Give me a week." With that, Oshitari deftly flicked his spent joint into the sea. "It'd cost you, but we'll talk about that later."

-

Whatever Syusuke told Atobe, it seemed to have worked. Not that Atobe turned an one-eighty after, but he was certainly more bearable than he had been. The yacht docked at Hakkaido just in time for dinner and the four of them dined at the most expensive restaurant at the hotel that Atobe seemed too familiar with. He chatted with all the waitresses as if he knew them, and joked with the waiters as if they'd been buddies all their lives.

Tezuka and Oshitari were both very surprised at this turn of events, but Syusuke, placidly watching the whole scene with his head on Tezuka's shoulder, just grinned and didn't look shocked at all.

Syusuke popped shrimp into his mouth and licked his fingers, the action wholly inappropriate for such a proper setting, but very much Syusuke. "...Where'd you go earlier, niisan?"

"Earlier?" Tezuka blinked.

"When Yuushi disappeared and you disappeared." His blue gaze was ever watchful.

Tezuka could think of nothing to say. He took a long sip from his glass, but still drew an unfortunate blank. He mentally cursed.

Oshitari shot him an amused glance from across the table as he toyed with his napkin. "Oh, that?" He smirked, "Tezuka and I had a very brief, inconspicuous affair that lasted fifteen minutes, if you must know, Syusuke-_kun_." He winked.

Syusuke pouted at him, and Tezuka felt the other's arms tighten around his waist. "Well, you should stop having brief, inconspicuous affairs with niisan. He's _mine_." As further proof that Tezuka belonged to him and no one else, Syusuke buried his face in Tezuka's neck.

Tezuka wasn't sure what to make of that, yes, Oshitari had saved him from a very unpleasant confrontation, but he didn't have to do it...like that. He opened his mouth to utter a reprimand but closed his mouth again when he realized that Atobe was giving Oshitari a similar look, although it was notably more scathing and less endearing.

"Is ore-sama not good enough for you?"

Oshitari rolled his eyes and touched a hand to his glasses, "...I was _joking_." Although to think that Atobe would utter such a sentiment...he was pleasantly surprised.

-

The two-bedroom suite was got up in the Western style and Tezuka watched his brother lie on a mass of satin sheets marveling at the ceiling, where a golden chandelier hung over head. "Niisan, the bed is nice. Come lie down." He patted the space beside him in invitation.

Tezuka was suddenly struck with a sense of deja vu, that first night when Syusuke had first come into his life. For no reason at all, he felt rather anxious as he obeyed, lying on his side to face Syusuke. He felt the slender fingers explore the contour of his face.

"Niisan is handsome." Syusuke smiled at him.

Tezuka flushed a little, in spite of himself, "Thank you."

For his gratitude, he was awarded a gentle, yet passionate kiss on the mouth, "You're welcome." Another kiss. "I want to stay like this forever. Will you let me?"

Tezuka did not hesitate, "Yes, of course."

Forever...he wondered how long that was. Tezuka held his brother and found himself hoping that forever was longer than tomorrow.

-

It was night and Syusuke slept. Tezuka found that the sheets smelled too fresh, and the mattress was too soft, the room too warm. It was nothing like home. He sat up, like he had done the night before, but not so careful because the mattress didn't squeak. He looked at the boy beside him, with a soft smile on his face. Tezuka felt a sudden crushing love.

Syusuke was everything. His everything. Everything he had ever wanted, he had found it in this boy. Tezuka was going to be a fool if he allowed siblings that weren't even supposed to _exist _take him away.

Tezuka bent close, so that their lips were inches apart. He carefully kissed both corners of his brother's mouth, and then his jawline, and then down the soft curve of his neck.

He felt Syusuke shudder.

"Niisan...what are you doing?"

Tezuka paused, but didn't move his mouth away from where it was. "...I love you." Though technically that was not an answer.

"Yes, but--"

"Let me do this. Close your eyes again." From Syusuke's neck, Tezuka moved to the other's white shoulders, assaulting the porcelain skin with soft kisses. "Just let me do this."

Syusuke stayed still. His eyes were closed, like Tezuka wanted. He went back to kissing, he unbuttoned Syusuke's nightshirt with agonizing slowness and revealed his brother's flawless chest.

"Niisan..." Syusuke groaned, when Tezuka finally reached a nipple. He latched his lips on it, sucking slowly, until the sensitive bud turned stiff. And then Tezuka bit and Syusuke arched with a quiet gasp, making an effort to muffle himself by clapping a hand over his mouth. "..Why...are you going so slow?"

_Because I'm afraid. I'm afraid that the moment I let go of you, you'll disappear. _

But Tezuka's only reply was to move his mouth to Syusuke's other nipple and ravished that one too, with such excruciating slowness, that he drew out a low moan from between Syusuke's fingers.

"Ahh..."

The small whimper shot straight to Tezuka's own groin, but he refused to hurry. He made his way down to his brother's belly, and dipped his tongue gently into Syusuke's navel.

Which made the younger boy squirm. But he kept silent, except for the inevitable moans that sometimes left his lips. Tezuka stopped then, and lay his head on Syusuke's stomach. He heard the other's breath hitch.

Syusuke spoke, voice cutting into the silence, "...Why'd you stop?"

_Because now you won't leave. You need me._

A pair of rather worn flannel pants covered the rest of Syusuke from the waist down. And a tell-all bulge jutted out between his legs, pushing relentlessly at the fabric. It pulsed, waiting for him, begging for him.

Yet still he did not move. When Tezuka did move, it was to crawl up Syusuke's body, slick with his own saliva and kiss him. Syusuke kissed back, although Tezuka tasted the tang of uncertainty on his tongue. Tezuka found that it was difficult to move with a similar bulge between his own legs, but he couldn't...yet.

He took his time, slowly, savoring the taste that he already knew so well. Syusuke's arms came up to wrap around his neck, urging him closer. The younger boy's hips rolled, desperate for a response. When he got none, the reddened lips broke away from Tezuka's own.

Blue eyes held things he wished he could understand.

"Niisan, what are you doing?"

What was he doing? Did he himself even know? There was no rational answer for wanting to rub himself all over his brother's body, and he was too tired to come up with one, "I'm..." Tezuka paused and threaded his fingers carefully through Syusuke's hair, "Just let me do this." He repeated, wondering why a guilty lump was forming at the base of his throat.

_Because he's not yours to keep._

Syusuke didn't look any less puzzled, but he closed his eyes and nodded.

Tezuka slid down and knelt between his brother's spread legs, and gently slid the pants down Syusuke's legs, freeing the swollen cock. He lowered his head and lapped at the sticky whiteness dribbling from the hardened tip. The taste was slightly bitter, slightly sweet, wholly Syusuke.

"Niisan." Syusuke bucked wildly. "Hurry..._up_."

Tezuka continued, pressing his brother's hips down. His mouth was once against filled when Syusuke arched and he still took his time.

_He's mine._

_He wants me._

Tezuka's teeth caught stiff, sensitive flesh. He collected more pearly drops of white on the tip of his tongue, and then he released Syusuke's erection completely. "No. Turn on your side for me."

Syusuke did, his movements sluggish.

Tezuka lined himself up against his brother's very naked body, and rubbed their hips together. Their moans mingled, and one wall over, Tezuka thought he heard similar sounds. When he could stand it no longer, Tezuka tugged his own pants down to his knees.

He kissed Syusuke's earlobes, and gently pried Syusuke's hand from his mouth and replaced it with his own hand,

"Here."

Tezuka let his fingers dance about his brother's lips and Syusuke's tongue eventually came out to wet them. When his hand was completely coated, Tezuka reached back around and gently traced the puckering ring of muscle of his brother's backside.

"_Niisan_..."

_He needs me._

He thrust in one slick finger, which the tightened walls immediately bit down. Syusuke exhaled sharply. Tezuka stopped.

"Keep...going."

Tezuka obeyed, this time he went deeper, and the warm heat that was his brother gave, just a little. He let the sounds that Syusuke was trying to muffle guide him, How deep to go, how hard to thrust, and when the moans were finally of pleasure alone, he added a second finger.

Deep.

Syusuke shuddered. Kept still and silent.

Deeper.

A muffled scream left Syusuke's mouth. His mind reeling, Tezuka bit his tongue hard to delay the inevitable. Hard enough to taste blood, blood mixed with the taste of Syusuke in his mouth. He curled both of his fingers. Syusuke screamed again. Tezuka knew that the sheets under him were damp.

"Niisan...please." A strained plea, "I _can't_..."

Not yet. It was too soon, but the tremble in Syusuke's voice told him that his brother wouldn't last. Nether would he. Tezuka hesitated, but pulled out his fingers.

Tezuka rolled over on his back, his own throbbing ache shamelessly full. There was a slight thump as Syusuke too, rolled over and watched him. To Tezuka's chagrin, both of Syusuke's hands were wrapped tightly around himself.

"Well?" Softly, a challenge.

One that he answered, as he pried Syusuke's hands away and held them. "Come."

Syusuke smiled, and his eyes were clear. He made short work of straddling his brother's hips. Anchoring both hands on Tezuka's chest, he raised himself up, his eyes never leaving Tezuka's eyes as he impaled himself on Tezuka's aching hardness. Syusuke forgot to cover his mouth and a low lusty moan escaped his lips.

"_Ohh_..."

Tezuka bit his tongue again. The intense heat, so familiar and yet _perfect_, was making his head swim. For a moment, he had to suck in a deep breath to still himself, Tezuka wondered if he would faint, "Syusuke. Slowly."

Syusuke's erection dug insistently into Tezuka's stomach, Tezuka relented and ran a finger slowly over the dripping tip. His brother moved, slowly like he asked, and Tezuka marveled at the look of utter ecstasy on the other's face. The look alone made Tezuka's own head dizzy as he lay there, rubbing his fingers idly against his lover's cock. A sticky pool was forming on his bare skin.

Lover.

Syusuke was his lover.

His.

No one else's.

"Mine." He spoke the word with surprising firmness and Syusuke's head lolled from side to side as he moved, his brother's eyes were hazy and dull.

"Yours..." His lover dutifully agreed, between quiet moans.

_Syusuke belongs to me._

Tezuka sat up awkwardly and wrapped his arms around Syusuke's shoulders. He claimed his brother's lips in a sloppy kiss and his Syusuke also tasted like blood. He licked the blood from his lover's mouth and swallowed his lover's moans and screams.

One by one until Syusuke's voice was spent, reduced to a mere rasping gasp. Until Syusuke spilled all over his own hands, Tezuka's hands, and Tezuka's stomach. Until Tezuka's own seed dribbled down between his lover's thighs.

_Mine_.

Syusuke's captivating smile.

_Mine_.

His brother's gentle sweet kiss. Tezuka closed his eyes and allowed himself a small, but very contented sigh.

_All mine._

"Niisan." Syusuke smiled, "I love you."

-

The next morning, both Tezuka and Syusuke met Oshitari and Atobe at breakfast with similarly disheveled appearances. Tezuka noticed that Syusuke had a reddish mark near his jawline. His brother's head lolled on his shoulder and Tezuka fed him a spoonful of eggs.

"...Well, it looks like the two of you slept well." Oshitari smirked.

But Syusuke only ginned sleepily, "So do you, Yuushi."

Tezuka realized that this was the first time that he had seen Atobe blush so furiously, both of his cheeks flamed dark crimson. Tezuka paused briefly to treasure the moment and fed Syusuke another spoonful.


	5. Chapter Four: Losses

**My Brother's Keeper**

AU, TezukaFuji. As brothers, their bond was unbreakable, and as lovers, their passion was unending. But when a ghost of the past shows up to haunt Syusuke's perfect life, Tezuka realizes that he cannot protect his little brother from everything.

-

**A/N: **Strangely enough, my schedule has picked up again, It wasn't supposed to and this chapter was supposed to be up sooner but...eh. That's life. Thanks for all your support and please enjoy chapter 4! And I know the title's strange and has nothing to do with the chapter, but imagination failed me...x.x

**On Oneshots: **I'm practicing writing oneshots/twoshots/short stuff in general! So if anyone has prompts, GIMME!

* * *

-

**Chapter Four**

**Losses**

-

* * *

Everything returned to normal. They had no more strange visitors who spoke English, that claimed that Syusuke was their brother. Syusuke seemed happier, and Tezuka was relieved. He was by himself when his phone buzzed. Syusuke was out doing grocery shopping, a chore they passed off every other week.

Oshitari Yuushi. With good news that he had been worrying in vain.

"Hello?"

There was no greeting, "Look, Tezuka. I'm in a hurry, but I got what you wanted. Tezuka Syusuke was born Fuji Syusuke to parents Leona Chastain and businessman Fuji Hiroki in London. He runs Fuji Electronics, chief executive. Syusuke is technically an only child, because he is an illegitimate child. His mother was a small-time actress and she and Fuji Hiroki never married."

"The mother..." Tezuka gripped the phone.

"...Is dead. Drug overdose...or something. You know, how most actors die. They have it down as suicide." Oshitari supplied helpfully, "Anyway, don't interrupt me, I told you I was in a hurry. Chastain died when Syusuke was two. And Fuji Hiroki adopted him. Fuji Hiroki's legal wife is Kitajima Yoshiko, and he has two children with her, Yumiko and Yuuta. Yumiko is 25, and Yuuta is 16. My guess is that Kitajima-san didn't like Syusuke very much. Just a few months before you guys adopted him he was passed off to an elderly aunt."

"And?"

"Nothing else, I guess the aunt hated him too. Oh, but here's something interesting. Fuji Yumiko and Fuji Yuuta are in Japan right now. They're staying at the Tokyo Swan Hotel, suite 1143. They have to attend some kind of convention for their old man or something. At this moment, Yuuta is a low level errand boy type person' and Yumiko is engaged to a chief manager in the business, but officially, she doesn't work for her father. You want the name?"

"Of the fiancé? No."

"Then that's all."

Tezuka swallowed, "...How much do I owe you?"

"Think of it as a belated birthday present. I remembered that I forgot to give you anything. Later."

The line went dead.

-

It wasn't a lie, and he hadn't been dreaming. The dial tone still bleated dully next to his ear. Tezuka snapped his phone shut and slammed it on the dining room table with uncharacteristic anger. Not to say Tezuka was never angry, but when he was, the anger in him boiled—at the most simmered, and then died. He'd never felt such a strong urge to slam something into the table.

Some birthday present, the cynic in him growled.

But now Tezuka was angry, he was angry because two people, whose proper places were an ocean away, sought to breach the utopia that he had tried so hard to build for Syusuke's sake, they even spoke minimal English, although Tezuka did think that the language was beautiful, but he couldn't risk the language bringing back memories that Syusuke seemed to have long forgotten.

And that world was crumbling. He despised them. And that realization left a bitter tang on his tongue. Tezuka checked his phone, not broken. But then in the end, he realized that he had no one else to blame but himself. If he had left the door alone that day, like his very sensible mind had told him to. Tezuka cursed his sense of propriety.

Speaking of the door. The doorbell was ringing again. He was tempted to leave it alone, until a familiar voice sounded on the other side, "Tezuka, I know you're in there."

Atobe's voice.

"Come on, open the door."

He certainly was not in the mood to deal with a glum Atobe. Though his legs would not listen to him; they walked to the door, and his hand had a mind of its own; it dared to unlock the door, and draw it open, to reveal a very tousled Atobe Keigo in the doorway. Not a common sight. "...You needed something?" He asked evenly.

"Yeah, a place to stay."

Atobe had brought a small rolling suitcase with him, leather, obviously. Tezuka eyed the accessory with some suspicion, "How about Oshitari's place?"

"He's in Europe with his old man. Hell if I'm going to stay there when only his mom is there." Atobe snorted, "Are you crazy?"

Maybe he was, crazy. Tezuka was almost inclined to agree, "What's wrong with your own castle?"

"You really want to rile me?" Atobe glared at him.

"Maybe."

"You bastard." His friend spat, "Are you going to let me in or not?"

The latter option sounded very tempting. And at the moment, Tezuka would have liked nothing better than to completely slam the door on Atobe's face. But he knew if he did that, Atobe would throw a fit and rouse the whole apartment building. Something he didn't need, and he did owe Atobe for the yacht, so he opened the door wider and stepped aside. "...How long do you need to stay?"

"Couple of days, maybe three, maybe four." Atobe slipped off his shoes and edged his suitcase against the wall, "Until the idiots leave." He snorted again, "They have 'stormed the castle.' I can't stand it. Are you saying ore-sama is going to be a bother?"

"No." Tezuka went back into the kitchen, "Want something to drink?"

"Alcoholic?" Atobe sounded so hopeful.

"...No. Cranberry juice." They had soda too, but soda was 'way below ore-sama,' how dare he even offer?

"...Good enough."

For someone who had difficulty holding his liquor, Tezuka wondered why Atobe was so insistent on drinking. He poured a glass of cranberry juice for Atobe, and a glass of water for himself, and carried both into the living room, where Atobe sat on the couch. His friend took the cup from him and drained half of it in a noisy gulp.

How very improper. Tezuka almost wanted to laugh.

"Where's Syusuke?"

"...He's grocery shopping." Tezuka dropped down next to him on the couch and looked over at Atobe once more. He realized that he was more than a little relieved that Atobe was here, dealing with Atobe's problems at the moment would save him the headache of dealing with his own set of issues, which seemed more pressing as the moments ticked by. "Are you all right?"

"Do I _look_ all right?"

When Atobe asked him a question like that, Tezuka never knew what to say. He settled on a neutral reply and sipped his water, "...You look like...you haven't slept...much."

"I haven't. In fact, I would venture to say that I haven't slept at all."

Tezuka sighed. "What's Oshitari doing in Europe?"

"I don't know. And at the moment, I don't care."

Atobe was lying. Tezuka wasn't exactly sure how he knew, but he knew that his friend was lying. Though instead of prying, he said, "Do you want to take a shower and go to sleep? I'll wake you up for dinner."

"I don't need you to baby me." Was the answer that he received for his thoughtfulness. Tezuka now understood why Oshitari felt the constant need to goad his boyfriend whenever possible. He was suddenly tired of Atobe and wondered if there was a polite way to throw Atobe out of the apartment.

"I'm not. You said you haven't slept at all. I was being logical. The last thing that I need is for you to die of exhaustion in my apartment."

"What kind of a host are you?" Atobe demanded.

An irritated one, Tezuka thought. "A sensible one. Go to sleep. If there aren't enough blankets in the guest bedroom, then you can tell me. Otherwise don't come out until dinner." Perhaps Atobe and Oshitari had quarreled again because Atobe resembled the walking dead. Even Atobe, who wore many faces easily, made this one look hideous.

"I'm a kid being sent to my room now?" Atobe did not look amused, but he got up and shuffled over to the mouth of the hallway.

Tezuka wanted to slap him across the face, hard. But he resisted, "...Either the guest room, or the street. It's up to you." He said, in a tone that left no room for argument and went to pour himself some more water.

-

He was alone with his thoughts again, as he idly flipped through a gardening magazine that Syusuke subscribed to. Tezuka ran through options in his head: a. do nothing, b. do something.

'Do something' was much easier thought than done. No matter how he looked at it, Tezuka felt as if he was at a dire disadvantage. He was still mulling this over when Syusuke opened the door, two grocery bags slung casually over one shoulder.

"I'm home, niisan."

Tezuka glanced up, "Welcome back." He returned dutifully.

Syusuke paused after he slipped off his shoes. He must have noticed the extra pair, "...Atobe's?"

"He's asleep in our guest bedroom. I guess he's having...problems." Tezuka said.

"With Yuushi?" Syusuke dropped easily into his lap and kissed him, "Doesn't surprise me."

Tezuka opened his mouth and then closed it again. He was loathed to even mention 'Europe', especially at a time like this. "No, it's problems at home, I think. But Oshitari is out of the country, and you know how Atobe feels about Oshitari's mother."

"Oh." Syusuke considered this, and he tucked his head securely under Tezuka's chin, "...Well, I thought that we'd have hot pot tonight, it's getting to be cold and you know, it's something new. Think Atobe would like?"

Tezuka's lips twitched, "Too common?"

Syusuke laughed.

"Very funny." Atobe walked in with a snarl that was supposed to be threatening, but on top of looking like the walking dead, ore-sama was also having a bad hair day. Tezuka turned his face away and Syusuke just giggled, not so tactfully.

"Atobe, what's wrong with your hair?"

"What's wrong with my hair?" Atobe's eyes widened.

"Go look in the bathroom mirror." Tezuka managed to choke out with a straight face while his brother continued to cling to him and laughed.

A moment later, the door to the bathroom slammed as soon as Atobe stalked away.

-

Atobe found dinner common, but Syusuke said (politely) that if he wished to intrude upon common people, it was only fair that he expected common cuisine. But they drew the line at making Atobe wash dishes, which was just as well because in Tezuka's mind, the scenario was disastrous. Not to say Atobe was clumsy, but he definitely lacked the know how in the kitchen.

Syusuke dried the last plate and planted a kiss below Tezuka's jaw, "I forgot, I have to go out in a couple of minutes."

Tezuka was alarmed, "Where?"

A flicker of something unfathomable flashed over Syusuke's eyes, but it was gone in a second. "I have a French test Friday, it's a hard chapter so some of us are getting together at Saeki's house to study." He looked up, with a teasing grin, "Do I have your permission to go, niisan?"

Tezuka ignored the look, "...What time do you think you'll be back?"

"If I don't go out clubbing afterwards, then...eleven?"

"Are you going out clubbing?" Tezuka said, trying not to let disapproval seep into his voice.

"No." Syusuke kissed him again, "Not if you look at me like that when I come home. See you at eleven."

-

Atobe insisted going out not long after Syusuke left to rent a foreign film. He came back with something German and Tezuka was lost after the first ten minutes, he would never understand Atobe's cinematic tastes, and he had a feeling that it was better to keep it that way. During a short interlude of a montage, an idea suddenly struck him.

If Tezuka had been born Atobe Keigo, then the advantage would have been his from the very start. But...

Atobe saw him looking, "What?"

"Can I borrow money?" The question tasted bad and Tezuka almost choked on it. "It's...for a bribe." It was hard for him to decide which of the sentences tasted worse.

Atobe looked surprised, "...A bribe? _You_? The respectable Tezuka Kunimitsu? Why the hell do you need a bribe? And you're eighteen, aren't you a little young for a bribe? Is that why you have a stick up your ass these days?"

Tezuka said nothing. He wished he hadn't asked.

Atobe caught the hint after a few seconds of stony silence. He reached for the remote and paused the picture of a lone madwoman staring at a lake. "All right, all right, I'm sorry. But if I'm to lend you money for a bribe, I have every right to know what you need it for."

"...It's..." Tezuka sighed, "It's for Syusuke."

Atobe promptly forgot about the movie.

-

Tezuka went to bed at ten, and left Atobe alone in the living room to finish his film. He was humiliated, but he knew this was the only plausible way that the situation could be resolved, quickly, painlessly on both parties. If he had to bend over to Atobe Keigo for his brother Syusuke, it was a price he gladly paid. Even if he knew he would never be able to look Atobe properly in the eye again.

But he wanted to be asleep when Syusuke came home.

-

Syusuke wasn't there when he woke up either. His brother had an early start on Mondays whereas Tezuka gave himself enough time to wake up. His first and only class was economics, a class that taught him little, if nothing at all. And that wasn't until four in the afternoon.

His watch read eight. And when Tezuka tiptoed into the kitchen, Atobe wasn't there either. Which was more than he could have hoped for. He made coffee and toast and left a note.

-

Tokyo Swan Hotel, suite 1134.

Tezuka felt like a man facing a pending firing squad. It was not a pleasant feeling, it made him feel very naked and stupid. Though of course he wasn't either. He was armed only with a very generous check, and his wits, which were falling apart at the moment.

He almost wished that he had asked Atobe to come along, or die of embarrassment trying to ask. The fact that he had put on a dress shirt that Syusuke had bought him for his birthday not that long ago was a bit encouraging...minimally.

But before Tezuka could raise a hand to knock, the door opened.

Fuji Yuuta stood in the door frame, he didn't look surprised, in English, he said, "You're...from the other day. How did you find us?"

"You found Syusuke, perhaps I found you the same way." Tezuka refused to let the boy stare him down, "May I come in?" Also English, he was uncomfortable, but he doubted the boy understood Japanese.

"My sister isn't here." Yuuta said, showing the first signs of uncertainty. "She...won't be back until later."

The boy was...afraid? No, that was too much to ask, but certainly he wasn't sure what to do. That was good enough. Tezuka didn't let his eyes leave Yuuta's face, "It doesn't matter. I can say what I've come to say to you."

Yuuta was starting to panic, "I think...it would be better for you to come back when my sister is here."

"No. I don't have time to come back later."

The boy relented. He opened the door wider, "Come in."

Tezuka stepped in, he took off his shoes and let the thick carpet swallow his socked feet, he leaned against the wall and Yuuta fidgeted.

"Some tea? I can call room service."

"No thanks." Tea was European, hospitality was something that Fuji Yuuta had undeniably grew up learning. Tezuka knew things would be faster if he didn't allow him anything familiar, English aside. "I'm kind of in a hurry."

In fact, he only came to say one thing, and one thing only.

"You will leave Japan." He said, even. "And you will leave my brother alone."

Yuuta stared at him, "We can't leave without aniki." His voice shook, just a little. "We just can't."

_Aniki_.

The suddenly language lapse was not missed by Tezuka. What right did he have to call Syusuke so intimately? Tezuka glared at him, and once more Yuuta shriveled meekly against the opposite wall. "You can, and you will. He is happy with me. I don't know what happened between you back then, but you gave him up when you sent him away."

The boy bit his lip, "We never gave him up!" Yuuta's face reddened, "You don't understand _anything_!"

Tezuka crossed his arms, "Did you expect him to welcome you with open arms? It's been _thirteen_ years." He emphasized the word, thirteen years was a long time, more than a decade. More than half of either of their lives. "Tell me what I don't understand. I understand that he told you to leave when you came to him. I understand that he is loved where he is. This is his world. What do I not _understand_?"

"You just don't!" Yuuta yelled, very irrationally because he was just a boy, "What if you just woke up one day and your brother was _gone_? That's what you don't understand! You don't understand that, you never will!"

Thanks to this outburst, Tezuka found himself hopeful, if Yuuta lost his head this fast and this heatedly, of course the rest of it would be easy. "So you should have been more careful." He said. "You shouldn't have let him disappear."

"I was two! What the hell do you expect a two-year-old to do in a situation like that?" Yuuta hurled him, one fist raised to strike. Anger made for accurate miscalculations, and Tezuka caught his wrist, and just simply held it, as the boy struggled.

"You should have done something." Tezuka said quietly, as a fresh bout of guilt churned in his stomach, but still he didn't let go.

"_What_ then?" The boy spat.

Tezuka's grip tightened, "Promise me you'll leave Japan. You and your sister."

An abrupt silence hung between them.

"You're afraid of me and Yumiko." A wicked light sparkled in Yuuta's eyes, "You're scared because you stole aniki from us." And then he dared to be gleeful, "You coward." he practically sang as a victory.

Tezuka released his wrist. "You gave him up." He managed to say with an even voice even though his blood boiled. "I stole nothing."

"I told you we _didn't_ give him up! You _stole_ him! Everything is **your** fault, Tezuka Kunimitsu!" Yuuta was shouting again.

"Yuuta, if you're going to yell, at least have the decency to close the..."

Fuji Yumiko trailed off. Tezuka turned to look at her, and her eyes, although they were hazel, reminded him of Syusuke's stormy blue gaze when he was angry. There was no doubt that she was Syusuke's sister, and that realization hit him like a hot, furious slap across the face. Her eyes burned into his, and Tezuka almost allowed himself to wince. But not quite. The door closed softly behind her. Yumiko, with her frigid, exquisite air, waited for him to speak.

Tezuka held out the envelope containing Atobe's check. It was a generous amount, even if he still thought that his friend mixed up all the zeros. "This is for you." He said quietly. "Please."

"What is it?" She didn't take it, instead, she shrugged off her jacket and draped it across the back of a chair. It was an expensive jacket, he noted that.

"An exchange." Tezuka spoke stiffly, he didn't like the way Yuuta had retreated, now smirking at him, because he had his sister as a shield. "I want you to leave Japan, and never contact Syusuke. In return, I give you this."

She knew what it was. Her eyes could not hide much. Her hands trembled when she slit the envelope. When she drew out the check, she gasped. Yuuta too, when he scrambled next to her. Actually, he was even more undignified, his jaw dropped.

Tezuka saw Atobe's very satisfied smirk in his mind's eye.

"_This should be plenty, even in Euros." _

But then she put it back and held out the envelope to him. "I can't accept this. I would be betraying Syusuke if I did." Yumiko sounded remorseful.

Tezuka looked at her. "By not allowing him to choose his own happiness, is that betrayal?" He asked quietly.

Yumiko paused, "Fuji Syusuke is our brother. I won't allow you, or anyone to change that."

"So you'll allow him to suffer."

That earned him two glares, one from each Fuji. "You don't know anything." Yumiko echoed her brother.

"Maybe not." Tezuka admitted, and swiped the envelope from her hand, he almost wished he had cut her, somehow. "But at least I was able to be there for thirteen years of Syusuke's life. A life that he treasures, a life that you're determined to snatch away from him."

He was sick of these people telling him he didn't know.

"You--"

Tezuka turned on his heel and slipped on his shoes, "I have nothing more to say to either of you. But only know that I won't forgive you."

He slammed the door behind him. It was immensely satisfying.


	6. Chapter Five: Meanings of Love

**My Brother's Keeper**

AU, TezukaFuji. As brothers, their bond was unbreakable, and as lovers, their passion was unending. But when a ghost of the past shows up to haunt Syusuke's perfect life, Tezuka realizes that he cannot protect his little brother from everything.

-

**A/N: **I'm not big on writing just pages and pages of exposition, but for this it seemed necessary, and it somehow didn't turn out the way I like it. :( But I liked the beginning and the end of the chapter, just not the middle, it seems so stiff to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you to all who reviewed!! You guys make my day!!

* * *

-

**Chapter Five**

**Meanings of Love**

-

* * *

"You look angry."

Atobe Keigo was sprawled in _his_ couch, eating something that came from _his_ refrigerator; funny how Atobe made himself home in their very humble abode in a hurry. The film that he had borrowed last night was replaying on the screen. A tattered man holding a gun to the belly of a pregnant woman was yelling something obscene.

Tezuka said nothing.

Atobe held up the bowl, "I helped myself to Syusuke's stew, I hope you don't mind."

Since when did Atobe ask his permission for anything? Or perhaps because being around Syusuke made Atobe humble, for whatever reason. For that, Tezuka did raise a brow, "He...came back home?" That was surprising, usually, he didn't see Syusuke until dinnertime on Mondays. "Why? What did you tell him about me being gone?"

"I told him I didn't know." Atobe replied, "Should I have told him something different?"

Tezuka breathed a sigh of relief, but then he remembered, "...The fact that he doesn't know will make him worry." That made him just a bit anxious, he never left home without telling Syusuke first, where he was, how long he would be gone. And he insisted that his brother do the same.

"The two of you are some piece of work." Atobe sighed, "He came back because he was worried and now you're worried that he...I can't keep up with you." He gestured towards the kitchen with his bowl, "Go get something to eat, the pot is still on the stove."

"Syusuke was...worried about me?"

Atobe smirked, "I guess you're too busy worrying about each other to even notice. But you can calm down now, right? They took the check, someone would be an idiot if they didn't." He sounded pleased.

Tezuka fished out the now rather wrinkled envelope and set it on the coffee table, "Guess again."

Atobe spit out the spoonful he had just swallowed, "They _didn't_." This time, his voice reeked of utter disbelief, "That check was more than enough to bribe _me_."

Tezuka allowed himself a small smirk, in spite of the heaviness in his gut, that made him feel better, "You can be bought?"

"I'm expensive." Atobe sounded proud about the strangest things. He ate some more soup, and dabbed his mouth carefully with a napkin.

Tezuka headed to the kitchen, muttering just loud enough for Atobe to hear, "Apparently, you're nowhere near expensive enough."

Atobe said,"You're a fucking idiot, you know that, Tezuka?"

Atobe never cursed, even if he was angry. He was too proper, too high and mighty to bend over for a word with a meaning so obscene. But somehow, he did it, and even managed to make the word sound elegant. Tezuka turned and stared at him for a long moment.

"Atobe..."

"What?"

Tezuka found himself wanting to laugh, but of course he forced down the laugh threatening to explode from his throat. There was just something indefinitely amusing about Atobe, and the word 'fuck.' "Nothing, thanks."

He earned a strange look, "...You're welcome, I think."

When Tezuka came back out with a warm bowl of stew, he found the envelope and the check torn up and crumpled.

Somewhere, in the deeply private recesses of his mind, he found a breath of fresh air, relief.

-

Tezuka's cell phone rang that night, when he was refereeing a game of chess between his brother and Atobe, go was more his line, and he had never gotten the hang of chess, and like everyone else, Tezuka hated losing. So the safest bet was not to play at all. As Syusuke prodded his white knight forward, Tezuka stared at the number that flashed on his screen.

It was a strange number, yet he knew exactly who it was.

He got up from his perch on the floor. Both Atobe and Syusuke were too absorbed in their game to notice him.

Tezuka looked the door to their bedroom, and made himself comfortable on the bed. Taking a deep breath, he flipped his phone open and held it up to his ear. "What do you want?" Rude, possibly very improper, considering that his caller was European and probably very well-mannered.

"You knew it was me?" Fuji Yumiko sounded surprised, but not shocked.

"I had a feeling." Tezuka said vaguely.

There was a pause, a long one, that stretched from seconds to minutes. "Tezuka-san, I didn't want this." She admitted, "And I apologize deeply for how our meeting went earlier this morning. But could you please meet me? I have something very important to say to you."

Tezuka certainly wasn't sorry. In fact, he wondered why it hadn't ended like this. "...I suppose. There's a park three blocks west of Tokyo Swan, I can get there if you can."

"...I'll have to wait until Yuuta sleeps."

And Yuuta was sixteen. Tezuka rolled his eyes up at the ceiling. "An hour, then." An hour was an adequate amount of time to come up with a decent excuse to escape home. Tezuka never went out without good reason. "I'll meet you in an hour."

"Thank you."

Quaint and simple. She hung up.

-

It was getting cold, Tezuka slipped out of the house with the excuse of a much needed walk. He wore and jacket and no one bothered to argue with him. He found that strange, but liberating. Perhaps Atobe was tactful and Fuji knew that he needed his own space. The bus was still running, but as he boarded and found a seat in the back, it was a little eerie considering he was the only passenger on board.

He wished he had brought something to read, something to distract him from something that felt like pending death. Although, of course, it was much too dark to read. Tezuka amused himself by counting the cars that passed.

Tezuka didn't get very far as the bus rolled to a stop in front of a station. Across the station was the park and he thought he spied a lone figure sitting on one of the benches. He knew without knowing that Fuji Yumiko would still wear cream business suits at night. Tezuka deposited a few coins in the slot machine and got off the bus.

When he got within earshot, she stood. She was still in a suit, but it was gray instead of cream. "Tezuka-san."

Tezuka nodded, "Did you wait?"

"No, I just got here, will you sit?" She gestured, even though Fuji Yumiko was not at home, nor was she in a position to be hospitable, it seemed that she was determined to be polite through and through.

Not to be outdone, Tezuka had no choice but to sit. "Why did you call me here? Did you change your mind?" He thought back to the check currently in shreds in some fortunate wastebasket. It was very tempting to call Atobe and have him write another.

"No. Although maybe things would have been simpler if I did." She laughed, but it was a bitter laugh, "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Tezuka said nothing, keeping his eyes level with his hands.

A soft rustle made him look up, and found himself looking at a small wallet-sized picture of a beautiful woman with large generous dark brown curls and Syusuke's eyes. She wore an evening gown type dress that flattered her figure, along with a smile that was as every bit as dazzling as the smile of his lover.

With a pang, Tezuka thought of Syusuke and wondered if his brother knew what his real mother looked like.

"Why do you have this?" Tezuka asked.

"Syusuke gave it to me before he left. He was five, and had so little, but he wanted me to have something to remember him by. He said I would look like her when I grew up." Yumiko sounded wistful. A deep sigh, and she put the picture away. "But I'm getting ahead of myself, I suppose I should apologize for Yuuta."

"I was a little out of hand too." It hurt to admit that.

Yumiko looked at him, "I want to tell you everything. At least, everything that I know. It's easier to come clean with you, and while I can't undo anything that happened to Syusuke in the past...I can try to make up for it." Another deep breath, and she started. Her narrative sounded rehearsed, and it probably had been.

"My father is the chief executive of Fuji Electronics, which is based in London. He succeeded when his father retired, and he had been young, in his twenties. Rich young bachelors always got themselves into heaps of trouble. So my grandfather thought that the best remedy to this was to marry Father off, and quickly."

Tezuka nodded, half listening, half still thinking about the woman in the photograph. Oshitari had told him the general picture, and now, it was just filling in the blanks.

"My mother was made for my father, at least...she liked to think that she was." Yumiko laughed again, "She was studying in Paris when she met him – love at first sight, she told me. And though Father didn't particularly like my mother, he didn't particularly hate her either. She fit all of the credentials of his future wife: she was pretty, smart, and a very good socialite with connections. She came from a family of lawyers. My grandfather liked her, so they married very early."

Sounded like a picture childhood so far. Tezuka concentrated on his hands.

Yumiko continued, "...I was an only child for a very long time, seven years, I was happy and I hate to admit it, but I was spoiled. My mother spoiled me because with me in the picture, Father couldn't run away. I liked to dance...but sometimes I wish I didn't. My dance teacher was Leona Chastain, Syusuke's mother. She was an actress always trying to make it big, but she had horrible luck. Once before a performance, she sprang her ankle."

Bad luck seemed to run in the family, "...So they had Syusuke. Then what? How did Leona Chastain die?"

"You're getting ahead again."

Tezuka was glad he didn't have a big sister.

"Sorry."

"I liked Ms. Chastain a lot, she was always nice to me, and she gave me little chocolates from Belgium after our lessons, even though she kept saying how it made her fat. Father liked her too, obviously, he went to every one of her shows, and he'd take me with him. He would always have flowers for her, white roses were her favorite. I knew that he never brought flowers home to mother...so maybe, that's why something was wrong."

"She told me she was pregnant one day, and she said that I was going to have a little brother to take care of. I was so happy that day because I'd always wanted a little brother."

Tezuka's own memory was somehow turned sour.

"Mother found out about it, she threw a fit, and she left him for a while; although they had never signed any divorce papers. She had no intention of divorcing him; she told Ms. Chastain, that she would be sorry if she thought otherwise. Mother wanted to take me with her, but..." She paused, "...I'm a little ashamed to say it now, but I liked Ms. Chastain better. That makes me horrible, doesn't it?"

When a woman asked a question like that, there was only one answer, an answer Tezuka was not about to voice.

After a moment, Yumiko had no choice but to speak again, "Syusuke was born, and he lived with Ms. Chastain, but he came over to visit often. I always played with him, and he called me 'neesan' and it made me so happy." Her eyes lit up, as if she had just thought of something, "Does Syusuke still like the color blue?"

Because didn't want to tell her, Tezuka kept his silence.

"Anyway, we were all happy for a while, of course I was too young to comprehend what was going on." She said ruefully. "All I thought was that Ms. Chastain had somehow become my mother too, and she was a nice person. Everything exploded when Mother came back home. She was furious, and so was my Father."

There was a long pause then. She was probably expecting some sort of reaction from him, but Tezuka stared straight ahead.

"I guess...I was angry too. But only because Syusuke cried every day, and when things got to be too much, Ms. Chastain took him away. Our lives returned to normal after a while and my mother, very possibly by willpower alone, became pregnant. Yuuta was born, but his being there didn't affect Father at all. Father was still trailing remorsefully after Ms. Chastain, who even fled to Ireland to avoid him. But...whatever Father wanted Father got."

Tezuka wondered if that was why Syusuke and Atobe got along so well. It was in his blood, but thankfully, not in his nature.

"I guess things got complicated then. Father bought Ms. Chastain an apartment not too far from our house, and started visiting her everyday, sometimes he took me along so I could see Syusuke. But one day, we went. And Ms. Chastain never opened the door. She died of a drug overdose, sleeping pills." Yumiko soldiered on bravely, "I don't think my father ever stopped suspecting my mother. However, he wasted no time in adopting Syusuke. I was happy, Mother was not."

And here, she paused.

"Father was out on business a lot, he didn't know what was going on at home. Syusuke was...well, I wouldn't say he was abused, but mother put him through a lot. He cried all the time, but he always managed to smile in front of mother. This...made her even more angry. I don't know if he realized." Yumiko's face was forlorn as she spoke, "And one day...he was just gone. Mother forbade us to look for him."

"So why look for him now?"

She shrugged, "It doesn't seem right to leave it that way. And besides, Mother doesn't know we're in Japan."

"He is happy." Tezuka said. "Your story does not change the fact that he is happy with me."

Yumiko looked at him, and tucked a stray curl carefully behind her ear, "No. I guess not. But Fuji Syusuke is also my brother. You have no right to tell me that I cannot love him." She stood up, "For what it's worth though, Tezuka-san, thank you for making Syusuke happy."

She got up and walked away, as regal as any queen, but Tezuka still decided that he wouldn't forgive him.

-

Tezuka's head hurt, his head hurt so much that he was rummaging the medicine cabinet for some sort of painkiller that wasn't expired. It was just his luck that Syusuke caught him.

"Niisan, are you sick?"

Tezuka quickly jumped away from the cabinet, looking...just a bit guilty. "No." He said, "I'm not. Why are you still up?"

"I'm worried about you, silly." Syusuke grinned, "Atobe's sleeping."

They kissed, and they kissed too long that Tezuka's head almost stopped pounding and just turned into a haze. He lifted Syusuke's shirt up and watched the piece of fabric float onto the ground. Syusuke was calmly looking at him.

"Niisan has changed."

"How?" With that, his heart sped up a few notches.

"Well..." His brother dragged out the words, "I guess...niisan is a lot jumpier." Tracing a finger down Tezuka's arm, he added, "...And you're always afraid of something."

Syusuke knew him too well, but Tezuka didn't say anything. He knew that his brother was giving him the benefit of the doubt, and had not added, 'you're hiding something from me.' He was eternally grateful.

"Sorry," Tezuka said, apologizing for something he didn't know, "I'm just...tired."

"No, you're not."

But Syusuke said it smiling. He took both of Tezuka's hands and led him to their bedroom, locking the door securely after. The clock blinked midnight. Tezuka's watch blinked 11:59. Though he promptly forgot to decide who was right after he realized that Syusuke had removed all of his clothing and lay on the bed like a white porcelain doll.

Naked as sin.

"Niisan, take off your clothes."

Tezuka hesitated, but sooner or later, he stripped off his clothes and lay bare beside his brother. Syusuke's hand traced a line along his belly.

"Are you afraid of me?"

The question cut into the air and Tezuka paused. The azure orbs were luminous in the dark. He couldn't answer. Finally, he forced himself to speak, "Syusuke, do you remember your mother?"

His brother's hand rested on his hip, there was a belated silence that hung in the room, and Syusuke rolled one shoulder for a response, "Saa, I was little. So not much. She was pretty." So saying, he shifted just a little bit closer to pillow his head on Tezuka's chest, "Why?"

There was a lump crawling up Tezuka's throat, he forced it down, somehow. "Because."

"You _are _afraid of me." Syusuke's tone was mildly accusing. "Why?"

Tezuka tilted Syusuke's face towards him, just a little and kissed him on the forehead, "I love you."

And that was reason enough to worry: too many people did.


	7. Chapter Six: Ever After

**My Brother's Keeper**

AU, TezukaFuji. As brothers, their bond was unbreakable, and as lovers, their passion was unending. But when a ghost of the past shows up to haunt Syusuke's perfect life, Tezuka realizes that he cannot protect his little brother from everything.

-

**A/N: **Wow. Hello and Welcome to the last chapter of My Brother's Keeper. Thing is, I wrote this chapter after I wrote chapter one, and now, somehow the ending doesn't seem all that good now. But I really don't know what to put and how to make it longer. So I'm just leaving it as it is. Not my best piece of work, but I hope everyone enjoys anyway. Thanks for sticking with me!! I really loved this project!

* * *

-

**Chapter Six**

**Ever After  
**

-

* * *

When Tezuka woke up the next morning, Syusuke was there, idly stroking his fingers through his older brother's hair, mussed from sleep. "Good morning," He greeted cheerily, with his usual bright smile, "Did you have a nightmare?"

Tezuka kept his eyes closed. "Why do you say that?" True, it was one of the less restful nights he had slept through, but he wouldn't be go so far to call it a nightmare. Besides, if he had had one, he would probably remember.

"You were crying."

Tezuka blinked, "I was?"

Nodding solemnly, Fuji lay back against him again. One hand rubbed lazily against Tezuka's hip, "Just a little. But...you seem all right now. You are all right?"

Today was not the day, but there were many times when Tezuka would turn around and realize, that Fuji Syusuke would suddenly not be there for him to hold. So perhaps only for that reason, he was 'all right.' He held his brother tighter, shifting just so, so that Syusuke could rest his head in the crook of his neck.

"I'm fine. Right now, at any rate."

A long silence passed. It had been another week since then, Tezuka had not seen Fuji Yumiko, nor Fuji Yuuta, nor had he heard from them. He hadn't seen them, and Tezuka hated it, but he had forbidden Syusuke to go anywhere without his knowing. Of course he was allowed to leave the house, but more often than not, Tezuka went with. A constant fear constricted his chest, and right now, having his brother here in bed with him was enough.

"You've been really weird lately, niisan."

"I'm stressed." He admitted, being only partially truthful.

"Are you?"

Tezuka considered, "I'm...I don't know."

"Niisan, you're not making any sense."

Yet another pause, Tezuka supposed that he wasn't. But that was certainly the trouble, nothing seemed to. No matter if he squinted, and turned the whole situation on his head. He traced an lazy path up his brother's stomach.

The door to their bedroom swung open. Atobe Keigo stood undeterred in their doorway and he turned away as soon as he realized exactly what he had walked in on.

"Christ..."

Tezuka rolled his eyes, Syusuke merely giggled and snuggled closer. It seemed that Atobe had made himself quite comfortable and he had no intentions of leaving. Even if the visitors that plagued his mansion had come and gone. Tezuka said, "Don't you knock?"

To which Atobe responded with, "Can I just walk in one day and _not_ catch you two having sex?"

Syusuke and Tezuka exchanged looks, the word 'sex' slipped so easily from Atobe's mouth, really, the common life was making him vulgar. It was Syusuke who sighed this time, "We're not doing anything. What do you _want_?"

"I want breakfast." Atobe sounded not unlike a petulant child.

"You want breakfast, get it yourself." Syusuke said, "Either that, or go home."

Atobe said, "I'm not even going to say anything."

Tezuka shook his head, "I'm speechless." He sat up, and Syusuke sat up with him. With one hand, Syusuke also tugged up the white sheets that was covering both of them, as if he was afraid that Atobe would look. "What would you like for breakfast?" It felt like he was appeasing a whining child.

"Niisan."

He was trying to soothe two very different people all at once. It proved to be something of a challenge. Tezuka was in many ways, more rational than his younger brother. (Although all evidence seemed to point to Syusuke being something else these days, he couldn't help but be stubborn.) He understood that if he didn't get out of bed and fix Atobe his damn breakfast, the other would still whine.

It was in his blood to whine. But in getting Atobe his breakfast, he would be offending Syusuke. After hesitating for a moment, he unwrapped Syusuke's arms around his waist, "Look, let me go get his royal highness some breakfast, and I'll come right back."

"Mou..."

"I promise."

-

Tezuka threw on clothes, and followed a very smug Atobe to the kitchen. How easy it was to just slam Atobe's head onto the counter and leave him there. But of course, if he did that, he'd be run out of Tokyo, and quite possibly the whole of Japan within thirty seconds. However, he took time to make his displeasure known, slamming down the jar of coffee beans down.

Atobe waited for a few awkward beats, and then his ventured, almost shyly, "I lied to you."

"About?"

"Breakfast, I don't really want breakfast. I just want to talk to you."

"If this is about Oshitari, you can foget it." Tezuka said.

"It's not. It's actually a point of immediate concern."Atobe crossed his arms, "About Syusuke."

"What about Syusuke?"

Atobe sighed, "How long do you intend to keep this from him? Why are you keeping this from him? Is it because you're selfish, or do you think you're still protecting him?"

"It upsets him." Tezuka returned, voice notably tighter. "What gives you the right to lecture me on this?"

"It's not lecturing, it's merely common sense. If anything, I think you'd lost your head." With a shake of his head, Atobe took the cup offered him and sipped for it, and then he winced, "I take sugar in my coffee."

"Get it yourself. It's over there."

"You're insane. Forget it." Atobe put down the cup, "I'm leaving."

-

"You took a long time." Syusuke sounded only mildly accusing.

Tezuka hesitated, "I"m sorry." And then he added, "Atobe left." as a further apology. "I was just making sure he left." Thanks to Atobe, he felt like a dirty liar. But still, Sysuke was altogether welcoming as he tossed back the sheets and patted the space beside him like he often did.

"Ah, that's good then." Syusuke settled snugly against his chest, "He was getting a little annoying, even for me."

His brother smiled the most dazzling smile.

And Tezuka wondered if Atobe was right. But now, he was determined to ignore it.

Syusuke just didn't give him the chance.

"Niisan. I want to thank you."

"For?" Tezuka blinked.

"Everything that you are, everything that you gave me. I want to thank you." Syusuke smiled, this time, it was less dazzling, but more sad. "But...niisan, it's okay. You don't have to hide anymore, I know. I know that Yumiko-neesan and Yuuta are still waiting for me to come back with them to London. I know that I'm not really your little brother, and I've always known it. I've never forgotten, although I know you think that I do."

Tezuka said nothing.

"Who told you?" He asked at last, deflated, defeated.

Atobe, Oshitari, even Tezuka's own mother were suspects. He held his brother tighter, and Syusuke let him. "No one did, well..." He amended himself after Tezuka shot up a baleful look, "I guess Atobe could be a little bit less conspicuous, but he didn't really say anything, it wasn't him." A long pause, Syusuke sighed, "Yuuta found me."

"_How_?"

It was simply treason, to think that Fuji Yuuta could find his brother, and brainwash him when he didn't seem to be looking.

"Don't get mad, he found me in the library." Syusuke soothed him, "It's not like he kidnapped me or something like that...anyway, we had a talk. He misses me."

"And..." Tezuka couldn't believe his ears, "And then what? Are you just going to go?" He still had the taste of Syusuke in his mouth, and suddenly, everything was bitter.

_Are you just going to leave me like this?_

"Niisan." Syusuke looked at him, "Don't be unreasonable. I love you."

What did that mean? What did love mean, if it was just going to slip so easily from his fingers? Tezuka gripped Syusuke hard enough to leave marks on the bare skin. And Syusuke said nothing, and he didn't stop him, either. "Don't leave."

Still, there was silence.

Finally, Syusuke closed his eyes and sighed, "I thought I was able to hide from them. When I was growing up, they were nothing but kind to me. Especially Yumiko-neesan, she doted on me, even if I wasn't really her brother."

Tezuka despised the woman. "You gave her...the picture of your mother."

The other regarded him with surprise, and then not so much. "Ah, I did. I didn't want to remember her, so I gave the picture away."

Speaking of the picture, Tezuka looked up at the two pictures that still sat in twin frames on top of the dresser. On the right was a five-year-old Syusuke in the meadow, the left, was Tezuka rock climbing with his father. He felt a little bit more comforted. "Why did you want to forget about her?"

"Because I don't remember anything about her. Fuji-san used to tell me stories all the time, but I don't remember her. I hate it." Syusuke shrugged, as if it wasn't anything of importance, "And I thought...if I didn't have that picture, Fuji-san's wife would be nicer to me." This time, his smile was a wan one. "I didn't know why back then...but I wanted her to like me."

Tezuka didn't say anything, instead, he loosened his hold on his brother and rubbed his shoulders. At length, he said:

"...What happened, back then?"

Syusuke kissed his collarbone, probably for no other reason than to distract himself.

"...I don't know. I don't really remember. But...now that I think about it, I guess it's a good thing. She just didn't like me. And it wasn't abuse...she just forgot to feed me a lot, and...she yelled at me. But again, I guess she was perfectly justified."

"But it wasn't your fault."

Syusuke smiled helplessly, "I know that, niisan, but I didn't know that back then. And I was happy that I went away. I was happy that I found you...even if...even if I didn't get to grow up with Yumiko-neesan and Yuuta."

"Do you regret that?" Tezuka said, dreading the answer.

"Not growing up how I should have? No. Not really." Syusuke smiled at him. "I got to meet you, didn't I? I got to love you, and...there's nothing to regret, there's only good things."

"Syusuke...are you going to go back to London?"

His brother looked at him, "Is that what you were afraid of? That I would leave?"

"Yes..."

"Niisan. You're an idiot."

"I—what?"

Syusuke kissed him, the kiss was everything that he'd ever dreamed of. "I love you, how could I leave? I have no intentions of going back to London, unless it's for a visit, and unless you come with me. How could I throw everything away when you try so hard to give me what you have? You're being silly."

Tezuka did feel like an idiot. "I...well," He shook his head, 'I just thought...they're your siblings too...it's just...well, they have more of a claim on you than I do."

"Are you going to give me away, then?"

"No." Tezuka shook his head again, "No, of course not." His mind was numb, numb with so much relief.

Syusuke smiled, "Then I'm staying right here."

-

"You're what?" Fuji Yumiko looked uneasy at the two boys sitting across from her on the couch, "But Syusuke, you _have_ to come back with us." And the plea was punctuated by a glare in Tezuka's general direction, since she'd never forgiven him.

"Neesan, you don't understand." Syusuke said, "I understand that you still love me. I understand that you have looked for me and missed me. But...I can't go with you. My place is here, it's not in London, it was never in London."

"Syusuke--"

"Neesan." He cut her off gently, "Don't do this to me. You've always wanted the best for me, even when Fuji-san always scolded you for it. I loved you then, I love you now, even though we've lost so many years."

She said nothing, and Yuuta, standing by her side, looked down on the ground.

Yumiko turned to him for defense, "Yuuta, don't you want Syusuke to come back with us?"

Yuuta bit his lip, Tezuka stared at him hard.

"I think..." The boy said hesitantly, "That aniki should be allowed to stay where he wants to, here in Japan."

"Yuuta!"

Yuuta shrank under his sister's gaze, but somehow managed to straighten up again, "...Neesan, having aniki come back with us, it will make us happy, but it won't make aniki happy. It won't make Tezuka-san happy either." He took a deep breath, "I think...I think Tezuka-san and aniki make each other happy. That's all we came for, didn't we? We wanted to see if he was happy. We don't have to take him away."

Syusuke shuddered beside him, Tezuka's grip tightened instinctively.

"But I think...it's not so out of line to want aniki to come visit...with Tezuka-san, sometime." Yuuta finished awkwardly with his eyes shut. As if he were afraid of his sister blowing him up the moment he finished.

Instead, Fuji Yumiko crumpled. Syusuke broke from Tezuka's hold and went over to the other side of the table to hold his sister tight.

-

Outside, Syusuke stood still. There was a contented smile on his face and Tezuka was just as contented to watch him. At length, he held out his hand to Tezuka, and Tezuka took it.

Syusuke's smile stretched until it was brighter than the sun, and Tezuka couldn't but smile.

-

End

_10-05-08_

-


End file.
